Writing your online dating profile? Take a look at these tips.

Writing your online dating profile? Take a look at these tips.

Be Honest. Always. Don’t lie about your height, age or weight: you’ll be found out soon enough. Don’t pretend to have a better job than you do, or that you’re more prepared for long-term commitment than you currently are. You don’t need to share all your dirty little secrets in your profile, but don’t create an awkward situation for yourself if it does lead to something.

How are you?’ is not a conversation starter. Try picking something you found interesting from my profile and asking me specifically about that.

Choose action shots: Wouldn’t you know, profile photos that demonstrate you playing your guitar or downhill skiing – even if your face isn’t showing – get more messages.

Get Over yourself. Don’t demand that your future partner love, worship, and adore you. Don’t list the qualities you believe you want. Instead, focus on what you have to offer. If you provide a list of dating rules or expectations, you wont be very popular.

Don’t do text speak. Just don’t. KK?

Never go into stalk mode. Sometimes guys just don’t take the hint. If we have chatted and nothing came of it, then a few weeks later you message again and we exchange a message or two. Lets not waste anymore time. “NEXT!”

Please ask about me. If you are not interested in what I have to say via messages, then I’m not likely to meet you in person for a meeting about how fantastic you are.

Never use your profile to write about the ex. Or about sex. Keep in mind the rules of first-date conversation and apply them to how you introduce yourself to strangers online, too.

Stay positive: Avoid negative tones and always be positive about yourself. Your profile is essentially your dating CV. You wouldn’t want a future employer to read anything negative, so why would you want a potential partner to read anything that isn’t positive?

Guys,If there is a female in your picture, you don’t look available or you look like a player. Guys, please stop using pictures of you and just one other woman. Oh, she’s your friend? Okay, yeah, whatever.

Don’t be pushy.  If you send someone a message and they reply to you with a “thanks, but no thanks” or they don’t bother replying at all, don’t try to convince them that you are the right person for them. They may change their mind on their own accord, but sending messages to them will make you seem scary.

Fill in every bit of your profile. Try to fill in as much information about yourself as possible, without writing an essay. Think about what your likes and dislikes are and what is important to you. Otherwise, how else will you become my future hubby?.

Don’t be weird, rude or sleazy. Enough said.

Check out my other posts.

Pimping your online dating profile.

How to write a dating profile and things you need to know.

S.A.D. Singles Awareness Day, The Alternative To Valentines Day For Singles.

S.A.D. Singles Awareness Day, The Alternative To Valentines Day For Singles.

Well, it’s the 13th of February and only 1 more sleep until Valentines Day!

According to Wikipedia its  ’A day for celebrating love and affection between intimate companions’

It is traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, chocolates, jewellery and other gifts, including engagement rings in many cases.

But for singletons, its S.A.D  ’Singles Awareness Day’ On Singles Awareness Day, single people can choose whether to celebrate or commiserate their single status, this is usually done in groups of people or friends. Some people  want to remind romantic couples that they don’t need to be in a relationship to celebrate life .

So gather up your we will  get together treat yourselves, drink cocktails and have fun to celebrate your single status! There are plenty of options available so there’s no reason to be alone on V.DAY or S.A.D!

So, what could you be doing on S.A.D ? 

Why not have a look at local events in your area, there are many places that hold singles night’s and fun parties and hosted events for those of us in singletown!

Or if you are feeling unsociable because you don’t have anybody to spoil this Valentine’s Day, why not take it as an opportunity to spoil yourself? No-one deserves it more!  Treat yourself to a bit of pampering, cook yourself a nice meal or have a relaxing bath with candles and a glass of champagne. With no one else’s feelings to consider, you’re free to spend the day doing whatever you want and to make it a special day just for you.

Alternatively, If there’s someone you’ve got your eye on and you think they may be interested too, why not take Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to express your interest? Send an old-fashioned anonymous card or just a flirty email and set the wheels in motion.

Or you could always sign up for online dating!

Plenty Of Fish – POF is FREE and it’s the number one dating site and is still growing. The site grows, on average, 30% every year! 32 million members, 15 million messages sent per day, 30 000 new sign ups per day, and over 1.16 million average daily visits per month!

Or Perhaps try Tinder  it’s the fun way to connect with new and interesting people around you. Swipe right to like or left to pass. If someone likes you back, it’s a match! If they don’t, neither of you will ever know.

What are you waiting for?? Let the thought of a potential new romance brighten up your day!

You can get some handy tips for your first online profile from my post Here & Here

Or why not take a look at A Single Girls To Do List

Whatever it is you decide to do on 14th of February, Don’t forget to Love yourself!

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Swinging; Are You Interested? Could You Do It? Do You Indulge?

Last night I watched an interesting documentary on swinging (Also known as partner swapping, wife swapping) I was fascinated to find that there are many different reasons people choose to take part in these activities. Some people are just curious and keen to explore to find out what all the fuss is about, some looking to experience new and exciting friendships with the view to fulfil their fantasies, some couples engage in these activities because they believe it will strengthen their relationships. When I decided to write this post I done a bit of snooping on the web and I was interested to find there are even websites dedicated to swingers, to help them meet other swingers like Swinger Nation Ireland there are chat rooms and forums where swingers openly speak about meet ups and other activities related to swinging.

Throughout the programme and my research on the subject this morning, one thing stood out to me, these couples maintained happy, strong relationships built on mutual understanding and in my opinion it seems the swinging was not seen as an act of sex but something fun to do with someone you love.

It also came to my attention that there were many single people females & males that took part in swinging and they were equally as involved as the couples. One lady spoke about how she generally despised the dating process and would rather meet at swinger parties/meetings where it is acceptable  to have sex on the spot with whoever they meet and feel attracted to.

I have always been very broad-minded and respect everyone’s lifestyle decisions.  I do understand  why swinging appeals to couples, as long as both partners are happy, its something you both want to explore and you can establish the difference between making love and having sex,  I say go for it!

So whats your take on swinging? Are you interested? Do you indulge? Have you tried it? 

Swinging

Pimping Your Online Dating Profile? Examples Of What To & What Not To Write In Your Profile.

Pimping Your Online Dating Profile? Examples Of What To & What Not To Write In Your Profile.

First of all take a look at a recent post I wrote How to Write The Perfect Profile And Things You Need To Know 

For those of you that are totally clueless, I have done some snooping and found some examples of the good, the bad and the avoid like the plague.

p.s I know some of these have lots of spelling mistakes, but they are as I found them!

good bad

The Bad:

Header: no time for time wasters..

i have facebook if ur interested in talking. i wont talk to people who r up there own a***s.. so seriously dont msg me if u love urself
* alot of people dont like abreviations.. i do it, get over it, not cos im lazy i just find it easier with a busy life like mine
looking to find some 1 who i can trust..
cant b botherd to write any thing else at the minute

The Basic:

My name is Mark I’m 32 years of age 6ft 8 in height, so very tall lol. My hobbies include Walking, Travelling, Listening to Music, Socialising. Looking for friendship maybe more

Please get in touch if you would like to know anything else.

The Honest:

I am an easy going sort of lad who does not take himself seriously, can be quiet but once you get to know me I never shut up lol. thoughtful, respectful reliable, and honesty are a few of my good points people would say.
I work as a chef been in the trade for fifteen years, so cooking would be another good point of mine. Outside the kitchen I like to a with friends and family, in between that I go to the gym also a keen runner or anything that gets me a sweat on.
Football is a big passion avid Newcastle United supporter.
The music that fuels my life is dance and indie don’t mind a bit of chart stuff to depending what it is. I like to think of myself as unique because hey arent we all and thats what makes this life worth living.

Anything else you want to know just drop me a message and we will take it from there.

Hope to hear from you soon.

The Weird &  Witty:

I have never owned a goat. I have absolutely no interest in them. Quite frankly they bore me.

“Nice n’ Spicy” Nik Naks are my third favourite crisps.

My Favourite books include ‘A History Of Goats’ by Penn & Teller (so fascinating), ‘Cooking with Gypsies’ by Keith Floyd & the entire Callum Best mystery series.

My Favourite Movies include ‘Withnail and Me’, ‘Jurrasic Island’ & ‘Jeremy Guire’. (I’ve seen them so many times! I know them word for word!) Another guilty pleasure of mine is ‘Robocock Vs The Cyber Sluts’ (I cry every time!)

The music I like tends to be really underground and alternative. I like bands you probably haven’t even heard of yet. Let us say no more about it. I am cooler than you.

I don’t actually like food. I sustain myself by digesting a mixture of flour, water and grass. I sometimes put a glacé cherry on top but it’s purely ornamental and I eat round it and pop it back in the jar afterwards.

I spend a disproportionate amount of my time thinking about the video for ‘Put Yourself In My Place’ by Kylie Minogue. Specifically the fact that while floating in the spacecraft the left sleeve of her spacesuit is removed twice. I find it quite upsetting. I’m also massively addicted to drugs so I tend to think about ‘scoring’ my next ‘hit’ of delicious, delicious drugs.

My hobbies include drinking****ails and making websites censor perfectly acceptable words

The Boring

Headline: I have nothing to say.

Hi I’m dana I’m young and smart love fun and enjoying my life.

The Straight Talking

About me, oh no this is the worst bit!? Well my friends in a recent poll said that I am relaxed and easy-going, I know how to make them smile and cheer them up which must be a good thing….I am also loyal, honest and gregarious.

In my spare time I enjoy looking after myself, going to the gym, cycling, spending time with my friends and family and of course a few beers at the weekend!

I enjoy life as you never know what is around the corner, I love doing random things including weekends away exploring and visiting new places, and of course we all have a good holiday in the sun in our repertoire of enjoyment! I enjoy going to see live music, seeing a good comedian, cinema, watching Newcastle United and eating out to name a few.

I have been single for a few years now, not because I am a weirdo but I do not seem to have found that amazing girl who just makes life fall into place, I would like to settle down with the right person, are you out there? I would however rather stay as a happy singleton than part of an unhapppy couple.

I am not interested in crazy women who want to get married tomorrow, Rome was not built in a day! I have a good job (I am a driller, think Armageddon not DIY SOS!). I have got a full head of hair, my own teeth, and my own car.

The rest is for you to find out of course so if you sound of similar mind and enjoy some of the things that I do why not get in touch?

The one with the bad attitude

Back on here after meeting someone and thinking we were going to be in a relationship and she turned out to be the same as all the other timewasting  women out there. if there is actually anyone decent send me a message. cant be arsed filling this in again. might do it later. If your  a heffer or a nutjob don’t bother as I wont reply.

*update: Im coming off this crap soon as its getting me nowhere.

The leading free online dating site http://www.pof.com suggests that, If you want to be successful , try talking about these things:

1. Talk about your hobbies.
2. Talk about your goals and aspirations
3. Talk about yourself and what makes you unique.
4. Describe your taste in music.

They also offer these words of wisdom..

For your own safety, do not include your name, phone number or address.

People will read both your profile AND message when deciding if they should write back to you. If your profile is really lame it won’t matter how good your message is.

So now we have established the guidelines on what to & what not to write, I have put together a n example of how my profile would go..

I can get on with pretty much anyone, I’m not obsessed with myself, I wear my PJ’s all day after a night out and I couldn’t live off salads 😐

I love spending time with my family & friends, travelling, being spontaneous,  I enjoy good food, good company and  good music to have a dance to. (a night raving on the Biggmarket and a pasty from the 24hr Greggs afterwards is not for me I’m afraid, though I can’t say I haven’t tried it!)

If I don’t like you I’ll be polite and pleasant, If I do like you I will be sarcastic and tease you relentlessly… I think I have somehow gotten this backwards.

Don’t Forget to take a look at How to write the perfect online dating profile & things you need to know for lots of hints and tips to write the perfect profile and get you back out there!

Happy Fishing! 

 

Why I Choose Not To Settle For Anything Less Than Butterflies…. What I Want In A Man.

Why I Choose Not To Settle For Anything Less Than Butterflies…. What I Want In A Man.

I have been pondering over this post for quite some time after a conversations with friends about my idea of a ‘perfect guy’ and after being asked why I am single? Truth is, I see my friends in and out of bad relationships & settling for someone just because they are desperate to settle down…I have done it myself, and I don’t envy them.

I am not a crazy girl who pulls out my notepad and goes through through a checklist every time I meet a guy, and I don’t think I have standards that are set too high, but after a couple of disastrous relationships, I refuse to just settle for the sake of not being ‘alone’

For me, being single means ‘I’m drama free, I’m less stressed, I can do what I want, when I want and I don’t have to check in with anyone’

Thats not to say that I wouldn’t change that to be in a relationship if the right person came along.. which is why I decided to take note of exactly what I want…or what he would have to put up with.

Type: I suppose if I were to label a type I would go for he would have to be a SNAG – A sensitive new age guy… a guy that still upholds the values of the retro-sexual ‘a manly man who doesn’t know the difference between aqua and teal and couldn’t care less’, but not quite with the same savvy style and good taste as the metro-sexual (but with a lot less hair gel and moisturiser), the SNAG is the perfect balance and tends to be a perfect gentlemen while still manly enough to scratch his balls in public.

The main attributes I would find most attractive in a guy would be…

Sense of Humour– This is actually one of the first things I notice, I’m not looking for a stand up comedian but I have what would be described as ‘British Humour’ and would look for a bond in someone similar.

Passion– Someone who is passionate about something, anything! it can’t hurt to care about something other than yourself.

Confidence– A guy who feels secure in his own skin.

Respect: A guy who respects you won’t make you do anything you are uncomfortable with.

Loyal: Loyalty is more than not cheating. Its a person who is honest and can commit to the commitment.

Dependable: A dependable guy doesn’t let down his wife or girlfriend (though a rare occasion is excusable) To be a dependable guy, you don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to be there and help in her time of need.

As for appearance…

Looks: Looks-wise I don’t have a preference, obviously there would need to be the attraction, but theres not a particular type that I would go for.

Build: Well I wouldn’t go for a really skinny guy..I wouldn’t want to hurt him now would I? and I have to admit I have a bit of a weakness for the muscular type.

Obviously the romantic, good in bed, cleaning, naked chef wouldn’t be bad attributes too.

So my list is a little longer than I thought, but I dont think its unachievable. I suppose it’s more about values for me than anything else, I don’t need much more than that as I am independent woman! Everything I own, I have bought for myself, everything I want, I work to get it for myself, everything I do, I do it because I want to.

I have my own car, I feed myself, I buy the clothes, shoes, hair that I want, I decorated my own flat how I want it and own everything in it and I have my own friends and family, and I am a single parent to a child who needs for nothing.

Because of these things I can be happy being alone which is why I refuse to settle for anything that is less… I’m not a man hater or a dragon. I choose to be this way. I’m not perfect but I’ve worked hard to get where I am today and I quite like it 🙂

I recently got this tattoo as a symbol of my independence it reads- Alis Volat Propriss – She Flies With Her Own Wings

Alis Volat Propriss Tattoo

S.A,D: Singles Awareness Day. Altenative To Valentines Day For Singles

S.A,D: Singles Awareness Day. Altenative To Valentines Day For Singles

Well, it’s the 1st of February and only 13 more sleeps until V DAY!  According to Wikipedia its  ’A day for celebrating love and affection between intimate companions’

It is traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, chocolates, jewellery and other gifts, including engagement rings in many cases.

But for us singletons, its S.A.D  ’Singles Awareness Day’ On Singles Awareness Day, single people can choose whether to celebrate or commiserate their single status, this is usually done in groups of people or friends. Some people  want to remind romantic couples that they don’t need to be in a relationship to celebrate life .

Luckily for me I will be in Thailand on the big day this year! but usually  me and my single friends we will  get together treat ourselves, drink cocktails and have fun to celebrate our single status! but it all depends on you! there are plenty of options available so there’s no reason to be alone on VDAY or S.A.D!

So, what could you be doing on S.A.D ? 

Why not have a look at local events in your area, there are many places that hold singles night’s and fun parties and hosted events for those of us in singletown!

Or if you are feeling unsociable because you don’t have anybody to spoil this Valentine’s Day, why not take it as an opportunity to spoil yourself? No-one deserves it more!  Treat yourself to a bit of pampering, cook yourself a nice meal or have a relaxing bath with candles and a glass of champagne. With no one else’s feelings to consider, you’re free to spend the day doing whatever you want and to make it a special day just for you.

Alternatively, If there’s someone you’ve got your eye on and you think they may be interested too, why not take Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to express your interest? Send an old-fashioned anonymous card or just a flirty email and set the wheels in motion.

Or you could always sign up for online dating!   Try Plenty Of Fish – POF is FREE and it’s the number one dating site and is still growing. The site grows, on average, 30% every year! 32 million members, 15 million messages sent per day, 30 000 new sign ups per day, and over 1.16 million average daily visits per month!  What are you waiting for?? Let the thought of a potential new romance brighten up your day!

Whatever it is you decide to do on 14th of February, Don’t forget to Love yourself!

Much Love xx

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A Single Girls To Do List

You can’t make someone happy if you’re not happy yourself. You can’t be happy with someone else if you’re not happy alone.

Domestic bliss is all very lovely, but before you and the man of your dreams make a pledge to go off into the sunset together, there are a lot of good times to be had while you’re a single girl.

Here’s my Single Girls To Do List, a list of things you must DO while you’re footloose and fancy-free.

Have Fun! 

To Build Your Confidence…

1. Hit the Gym! Burn off some energy and feel good about yourself!

2. Pamper yourself, get a massage or get a makeover

3. Have an adventure: Try Ice Skating,  abseiling, water-skiing, or some activity you don’t already know how to do.

4. Get doing some DIY- Build something like a bookcase or put up a shelf for all your new make up.

5. Live Alone.

6. Challenge yourself,  Train for (and finish) a huge test like a marathon or study a course and complete it!

7. Read this blog post I wrote on 8 reasons its great to be single again! 

8. Visit a foreign country by yourself.

9. Join a dating site, it’s a great way to build confidence. Here are some tips on how to write the perfect profile.

10. Learn to stand up for yourself. Say No to people who expect to much from you, and look after yourself!

11. Go for a meal  or a day out alone, be happy in your own company.

Pssstt! If you went through a bad break up, read my blog post on how to survive.

To Be Able to Look Back and Say “I Had Fun”…

12. Witness/do  something once-in-a-lifetime

 13. Revel in being able to watch all the reality TV you want. I’m pretty sure no man will be able to stand as much TOWIE and Geordie Shore as my (girlie) friends.

14.  Get drunk during the day, just because you can.

15.  Go on a date with someone who actually makes you nervous.

16. Go out with an older man who takes you somewhere nice and treats you like a princess.

17. Go out with a guy who makes you laugh ‘til it hurts.

18. Go on a blind date.

To Get Perspective…

19. Be a good Wingwoman . It’s not always about you.

20. Volunteer or help someone when they need it most.

To Make You Appreciate the Next Guy…

21. Do at least one  Valentines Day Alone ( Try the alternative to Valentines day Singles Awareness day)

22. Attend a wedding (or an important event) alone.

23. Date the creeps. You’ll really value the nice guys afterward.

To Make You Feel Sexy and Attractive…

24. Get a haircut or colour, change your style!

25. Buy yourself some flowers.

26. Invest in a LBD (little black dress) and some sexy stilettos.

27. Sit at a bar by yourself and drink a cocktail. Cool.

28. Try the Frisky Girls To Do List

29. Buy something frivolous and expensive that you LOVE wearing.

30. Buy a sex toy! Read my post and find out which one is best for you.

To Make Yourself a Better Partner in the Future…

31. Make a list of all your faults.

32. Learn to cook well for yourself to keep healthy and away from to many KFC’s & for your future family(I’m still working on this)

33. Get some hobbies. Something’s gotta keep you occupied—plus it’ll make you seem interesting.

34. Get your finances in order.

To Appreciate Being Single…

35.  Babysit someones baby for an hour.

36. Help a friend through her divorce or a bad break-up.

37.  Host a girls-only night. I think some coupled-up women forget how much we need each other.

We can’t become what we need to be, whilst remaining what we are.