Dealing With The Disney Channel Attitude- Turning Negative Attitudes And Behaviors Into Positive

Dealing With The Disney Channel Attitude- Turning Negative Attitudes And Behaviors Into Positive

In the past few months, some attitude has arrived in my home that is very unwelcomed!

strop

So I’ve thought about what I’m doing right – my 7 year old daughter is well fed, well clothed, hugged and kissed, has a good stable family unit, routine, house rules and boundaries are in place, she gets rewarded and praised for good behavior, I always have a listening ear, she understands she needs to help out to get her pocket-money and gets plenty of toys and sweets!

I have been racking my brains thing where I have gone wrong, where the attitude she has picked up comes from and how she has been taught this stinking attitude; this includes being cheeky, back-chatting, storming about  & sometimes even disrespect and lack of gratitude.

 I started paying attention to our habits and routines and noticed a lot of the shows my daughter watches. Particularly the shows on Disney Channel including;  ‘Jessie’ ‘Hannah Montana’ ‘Good Luck Charlie’ ‘Suite life of Jack & Cody’

For those of you who have limited to no knowledge of these shows, they are filled with the most self-absorbed teenage characters ever who are constantly dealing with  dramas and relationship problems…issues inappropriate for children of their age. They are  built on smug overacting characters and a constant stream of witty, sarcastic one liners. 

 Most of the characters on these shows get anything and everything they want, have no respect for their siblings or parents, use and disrespect their friends, constantly cheat and scam others, and are (most of the time, if not always) very shallow.

Thus came the first decision to solve my dilemma;
Disney Channel is Banned from our home!

I sat my daughter down to explain why she couldn’t watch the channel anymore.  She wasn’t happy  about it, but I explained the behaviors in these programme’s aren’t real and aren’t the way she is supposed to act.

I explained the affect it has on her life if she mirrors the behaviors and attitudes of these characters, for example: If she back-chats or disrespects me with a witty comment- my feelings get hurt – She gets into trouble- she gets punished and loses  privileges.
So because we want to have a happy house, we need to learn to not copy these type of behaviors whether they are on the TV or at school etc.

Another issue I feel I needed to address is negative attitude:

“. . . nobody likes me . . . nothing good ever happens to me . . . it will never work.”

Parents should encourage & provide good, strong examples of self-confidence:

Enjoy life.
Believe in yourself and what you can accomplish.
Compliment yourself and others.
Don’t be afraid to make a mistake — point to it as a natural learning experience.
When you feel angry or sad, don’t keep those feelings very long.

I went through each of the above with her and gave her examples of being positive and the affect positivity has on your life.

positive

I decided an activity would be the best way to address some of these issues, as talking to much often results in going in one ear, out of the other.

I gave her a  piece of paper and a pen and asked her the following questions, one at a time.

  • Write down the name of someone you think typically has a good attitude. Why do they or what about them makes you think that?
  • Write down the name of someone you think typically has a bad attitude. How do you know they have a bad attitude?
  • When you think of the person with a bad attitude, what things (or who) does that person usually blame  as the reason they are in a bad mood?
  • Do you have to have a bad attitude if things aren’t going your way or do you think it’s possible to have a good attitude even when bad stuff is happening? Tell me why.
  • Are there things in your life you’d like to change to help you have a more positive attitude?
  • If negative stuff is happening to you, are there things you can do to keep  positive & happy? Name a few of them.

Whilst answering these questions, it makes a child look at how they react to things, can make a big difference in her attitude and the way she feels.

I then gave her another piece of paper asked her to write these columns:
School, Family, Home, Myself

I then asked her to think about any problems she is having in any of these areas. Once she has an idea, she should list it in the correct column (For example, “My sister keeps teasing me.” or “I hate doing maths” or “I don’t like getting my hair done”)

Once she has the problems that affect her attitude listed, we went through each one individually and asked her:

  • How do I feel about this?
  • Is there a way I can solve this problem?
  • Have I been blaming other people for this problem?
  • What will happen in the short-term if I don’t solve this problem? What about the long-term?
  • What little things can I do to work toward solving this problem?
  • How do I have to change my attitude to solve the problem?
  • What will happen once this problem is resolved?

We used coloured paper & bright pens to make this exercise more fun and after, we took some time  to reflect on these issues.
I gave my daughter lots of praise for co-operating and making an effort to change the attitude that keeps getting her into trouble and preventing her from a positive happy life.

Now, I know It’s not always easy to see the positive things in life, especially for kids, but having a positive attitude and outlook on life makes solving life’s problems much easier. Teaching her how to turn a negative attitude around will hopefully help teach her some important coping skills she’ll need in her life….and will hopefully bring some peace to our home!

Talk PANTS And Help Keep Your Child Safe From Abuse – The Underwear Rule

Talk PANTS And Help Keep Your Child Safe From Abuse – The Underwear Rule

Driving home over the busy Tyne Bridge this week I heard an advert on the radio that immediately got my attention, it was a campaign advert from the NSPCC regarding ‘The Underwear Rule’,  it’s a campaign designed to show parents a fun way to make their children aware of the dangers of sexual abuse without scaring them.

I have previously blogged about the importance of ‘Stranger Danger’ which is an important conversation every parent should have with their children, but sadly it’s not enough to keep our children safe, most abuse is closer to home.

It’s every parents’ worst nightmare to find their child has been touched inappropriately and no family wants to think it will ever happen to them.  But as the statistics show it does happen to one in 20 kids, and nine times out of ten by someone known to the child.

If we are to tackle this issue we must prevent it before it even starts, to do this we must educate our children about staying safe and speaking out.

The Underwear Rule is a simple way that parents can help keep children safe from abuse.

We know talking to your child about private parts can seem difficult, but you can have simple conversations about keeping safe without using scary words or mentioning sex.

NSPCC have developed PANTS as an easy way to teach children that their body belongs to them and to talk to a trusted adult if they ever feel scared or upset.

They’ve also created a child-friendly guide and other useful advice that can make talking to your child easier.

Learn the Underwear Rule and you’ve got it covered

PANTS is an easy way for you to explain to your child the key elements of the Underwear Rule:

P-

Privates are private

Be clear with your child that parts of their body covered by underwear are private. No one should ask your child to touch or look at parts of their body covered by underwear.

If anyone tries to touch their private parts, tell your child to say “no” and to tell an adult they trust about what has happened.

In some situations, people – family members at bathtime, or doctors and nurses – may need to touch your child’s private parts.

Explain that this is OK, but that those people should always explain why, and ask your child if it’s OK first.

A-

Always remember your body belongs to you

Let your child know their body belongs to them, and no one else.

It can be helpful to talk about the difference between good touch and bad touch:

Good touch is helpful or comforting like a hug from someone you love.

Bad touch is being touched in a way that that makes you feel uncomfortable.

No one has the right to make them do anything with their body that makes them feel uncomfortable. And if anyone tries, tell your child they have the right to say no.

This can be a good time to remind your child that they can always talk to you about anything which worries or upsets them.

N- No means no

Make sure your child understands that they have the right to say “no” to unwanted touch – even to a family member or someone they know or love.

This shows that they’re in control of their body and their feelings should be respected.

If a child feels confident to say no to their own family, they are more likely to say no to others.

T- Talk about secrets that upset you

Your child needs to feel able to speak up about a secret that’s worrying them and confident that saying something won’t get them into trouble.

To help them feel clear and comfortable about what to share and when, explain the difference between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ secrets.

Bad secrets:

  • make you feel worried, uneasy, sad or frightened
  • may be asked to be kept in exchange for something
  • bad secrets often have no end time.

Good secrets:

  • can be nice things like surprise parties or presents for someone else
  • will usually be shared in the end

It’s important that your child knows the difference because ‘secrets’ are often an abusers greatest weapon in stopping a child from telling anybody about abuse.

Phrases like “it’s our little secret” are their way of making a child feel worried, or scared to tell someone what is happening to them.

S- Speak up, someone can help

Tell your child that if they ever feel sad, anxious or frightened they should talk to an adult they trust.

A trusted adult doesn’t have to be a family member. It can also be:

  • a teacher
  • a grandparent, uncle or aunty
  • a friend’s parent, or
  • ChildLine

Whoever they feel most comfortable talking to, reassure your child this adult will listen, and can help stop whatever is making them upset.

The more your child is aware of all the people they can turn to, the more likely they are to tell someone as

soon as they have a worry.

Remind your child that whatever the problem, it’s not their fault and they will never get into trouble for speaking up.

NSPCC – Tips & techniques for talking

After school

If your child has learned about relationships or personal safety, ask what they remember – it will give you a starting point from which to begin more detailed conversations.

Talking over the TV

TV can be a great way of opening up tricky topics. Though we might sometimes wish our children hadn’t heard something in the news or on a soap, it’s best to address the point head on rather than dismiss it, or pretend it hasn’t happened.

The bedtime routine

When you’re getting your child ready for bed – or helping them tie their shoelaces or get dressed – you could talk about times when a trusted adult might need to touch them.

Driving it home

Car journeys are a great time to talk to your child. They’re in a comfortable setting, with limited distractions. If you’re on your way to school, you could ask about who they would tell at school if something was upsetting them.

Question time

Don’t shy away from your child’s difficult questions. Reward their curiosity by speaking to your child honestly. Talking frankly will make the subject less shocking, and you’ll show yourself to be someone they can confide in.

The PANTS rule for Kids
The PANTS rule for Kids

For more information cclick here to visit the NCPSS’s Page and download some friendly guides for you and your children.

Cleaning With Kids! ‘ Many Hands Make Light Work’

Cleaning With Kids! ‘ Many Hands Make Light Work’

Kids are finally back at school and the countdown to Christmas has began! Excited? I know I am!

And one of the best ways to start the preparations  is with a little cleaning that gets the whole family involved. There’s just something so satisfying about opening all the windows, tearing your house apart, and putting it back together again, all while enjoying each other’s company.

To help you in your quest, here are a few ideas compiled from various sources about spring cleaning. The suggestions include some pointers about attitude and approach, and which tasks make the most sense for youngsters. I hope you find them helpful!

Think teamwork 
It’s downright lonely to be sentenced to clean a bathroom on your own, but paired with a parent, even a five-year-old can work safely and happily. While Dad wields the bowl cleaner and the tile brush, his helper can scrub the sink, polish the fixtures, empty the rubbish, and carry towels and rugs to the laundry room. Working as a team involves kids in the cleaning process, helps them learn cleaning skills, and most important, models both the attitude and the job standard you’re trying to teach.

(or) Think competition 

Turn spring cleaning into a competition. Divide your family members into teams and assign tasks that take about the same time to complete. Award a prize to the team that gets their chores done first. Make sure you inspect the work to ensure fairness.

Take your voice out of the process 
Children have an innate ability to “tune out” parents, when the subject is chores. What parent wants to spend a Saturday nagging, threatening and shouting, “You get back here and finish the vacuuming!”?

Instead, post a list of the day’s jobs, or write them out on index cards. Split the jobs up between the teams, or let each team choose one until the work is done.

Make time fly with media motivators

Playing upbeat music or an exciting audiobook keeps spirits high—and dust cloths moving. For maximum motivation, let each helper choose his or her tunes throughout the day.

Keep cleaning sessions short 
A five or ten minute cleanup session, accompanied by upbeat music, is something the whole family can get into. You’ll be done in no time, and it’s painless enough that kids won’t mind doing another round every so often.

Assign animal attributes 
Make a joke about each person’s cleaning style, likening it to the behavior of a particular animal: jackrabbit (fastest), turtle (slow and steady), squirrel (stores things away), bat (fast and fearless), and slug (goes to sleep when chores are mentioned).

Delegate “big jobs” to teens
Once adolescence hits, working with a parent loses it’s appeal. Solution? Delegate big—but safe—jobs to teen children. Whether they clean and organise the garage, shampoo the living room carpet, or restore order to a jumbled linen closet, they’ll take pride in their work IF you truly let them own the job. Ignore all whinging and moaning, and praise their solutions to the skies. In spite of their complaints, they won’t let you down.

Reward hard work 
Spring cleaning is nobody’s idea of a good time, so plan for a reward for your workers. When the chores are done, schedule a family treat. Whether it’s pizza for lunch or an evening film-fest, you’ll get better results—and sweeten attitudes—if there’s a payoff at the end of the day.

Kids-spring-cleaning-600

Ideas about how to find tasks for all ages

Preschoolers enjoy helping with cleanup, and can easily dust lampshades, books and tabletops, line up CDs, and sweep with a little broom. Armed with the proper (nontoxic) cleaning solution, soft rags, and gloves—kid-sized rubber garden gloves work well,

Primary -age children are experts at polishing mirrors, brass knobs, door knockers, outdoor house numbers, and chrome car bumpers and trim.

Teens can wipe car interiors clean. Indoors, give them fine steel wool to shine your stainless-steel sinks and faucets, for instant results!

Ask your children to try on last summer’s clothing so you can see whether or not the items no longer fit them. If they don’t, have your children place the clothes in bags to take to a donation drop-off center. Also, have your kids select toys and books they no longer use so you can de-clutter your house and donate these as well.

Give your child a broom, and ask him to sweep off the front steps, patio or deck. If he’s able to do a thorough job, have him sweep the rooms inside the house as well.

Send your children on a mission to pick up all the sticks in your  garden.

Fill a bucket with warm water and a mild soap and allow your children to clean off their bicycles, which are likely to be dirty from being  used so much over the summer holidays.

Hand your child a dust cloth and instruct him to dust all furniture surfaces. Remove any breakable items before he starts, and tell him not to try and dust surfaces he cannot reach.

Spray and wash! Your teenager, a garden hose, and a bottle of window cleaner designed to be attached to the hose can make your outdoor windows sparkle in no time — even those on the second floor. Who doesn’t enjoy messing around with water?

Have Fun!

 

Stressed? frustrated? don’t know where to start? live in North East England? give Your Maids a call, they are an eco-friendly cleaning service, all their products are safe for  use around children and pets.