Advantages Of BPD . . . Lets Look At The Positives For A Change!

Advantages Of BPD . . . Lets Look At The Positives For A Change!

I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder for 3 years now, through all the suffering and the pain and the constant emotional battle, I rarely hear anyone saying anything positive regarding  BPD.

Although all of us have different traits and personalities, and traits of some borderlines with be the complete opposite of another…. but maybe we  aren’t like this for no reason?

What positive aspects can you pull from your BPD?

An animals ability to adapt to its environment is probably the single biggest factor in its survival. For me, aspects of BPD seem like they stem from a sort of ultra adaptability.

I am the type of person who can really do anything, and I usually do it pretty well.
I’ve worked so many different jobs, tried so many different hobbies, started so many different businesses and helped many others do the same. I feel like that is partly because I can constantly rebuild my self-image to suit whatever role is necessary.

Every person I talk to get a slightly different voice/persona, it’s always well adapted to the target and the result is always positive, I don’t fail interviews and my bosses/mentors are always pleased with my work and expect me to excel.

I am writing this post to prove it’s not all bad, its not all in the textbooks! There ARE advantages of having a mental illness such as BPD.

optimism

Here are a few that I for one am thankful for.

I am..

  • PASSIONATE: Extreme intensity of passion when I find something that interests me.
  • INDIVIDUAL: I  strongly cultivate my individualism and enjoy applying my abilities to new tasks.
  • SPONTANEOUS: ‘The Art of living in the moment’.. doing whatever it is I feel I want to do at that moment. Being Free.
  • CURIOUS: I’m curious about anything and everything, therefore taking more interest in people and in their interests.
  • INTENSE: Every moment of life is experienced at extreme intensity, experiencing life to the fullest with both the highs and the lows.
  • INSIGHTFUL: Since I have experienced so much pain in my past, I am able to draw on these experiences for the present moment via self-awareness, helping myself and others.
  • EMPATHETIC  & COMPASSIONATE: Empathy is the capacity to recognize and, to some extent, share feelings (such as sadness or happiness) that are being experienced by another. Some borderlines do not have any, I however have super empathy and can have a lot of compassion for those around me, whether I am feeling high or low.
  • CREATIVE: ‘ Having the ability to create’…This is one of my favourite Borderline Super Powers’  The  quote below is hanging in my kitchen (In a collage that I created)  that reminds me of the positive aspects of BPD when I’m struggling to see any



My creative gifts are worth the mental illness, I’ve suffered for them.  

bpd faces

So while this mercurial sense of self can be negative, and leads to BPD behaviours, it can also be a huge advantage.

As a Borderline, I  can be anything and everything I  want, most people can’t adapt like that..so if you understand the content of this post,  maybe you could try to use this as an  advantage? Use your flexible self-image to rebuild yourself positively, rebuild a version of yourself that can’t be negative or sad, or self-pitying.

We are actually in much more control of our persona’s than most normals, they can’t recreate themselves so easily. We will undoubtedly fall apart after rebuilding ourselves, we need to just remember to keep rebuilding the same house, every time we do it, it will become stronger and stronger, and eventually…this will all be a thing of the past.

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10 tell-tale signs you need to lose weight

The girl at the donut shop knows your breakfast order by heart, you can’t remember the last time you saw the inside of the gym, and for the first time ever, your cat seeing you naked after you shower freaks you out.

These, among many other things, are perhaps some signs you need to lose weight. Hey, it’s marvelous to be a curvy girl, but you have to be healthy, right?  Here are 10 telling signs you need to lose weight

1. YOUR CLOTHES DON’T FIT

The last time you tried to squeeze into your favorite jeans, you almost fainted, and has your roommate shrunk your bathing suit? If your clothes don’t fit, it might be a sign you need to lose weight… or maybe your roommate is just playing a prank…

2. YOUR MOTHER MENTIONS IT

Mum’s are fantastically tactful and loving people, so if your mother gently broaches the issue of your weight with you, especially in regards to your health, chances are, she has a point. Give her a patient ear, and listen without being offended. She may be telling you a difficult truth — you need to lose weight.

3. YOU HAVE NO ENERGY

If you’re constantly feeling sluggish and tired, it may be another sign you need to lose weight, especially if you’ve never had energy issues before. Of course, there are many other causes for a sudden drop in your lust for life (like depression), so this is also a tipoff to see your doctor.

4. YOUR DOCTOR SUGGESTS IT

… and speaking of your doctor, if he or she mentions your weight as a health issue, it’s definitely a sign you need to lose weight, seriously! Being overweight can lead to serious chronic and even deadly health issues, like sleep apnea, diabetes, heart disease, and more. If your doctor feels you’re at risk for any of these, listen to her, and ask for her help in putting together a weight loss plan just for you.

5. YOU AVOID MIRRORS

If you’re not feeling good about how you look, it’s another sign you need to lose weight. You might be your own worst critic, but sometimes, you have to trust your instinct and listen to your inner voice.

6. YOUR BMI SAYS

Your Body Mass Index number is another sign you need to lose weight, or even gain weight. The BBC website has an excellent free BMI calculator that takes into account your height, weight, age, and more, to tell you what your number is, and what it means.

7. YOUR SCALE

I don’t normally suggest using a scale to gauge your weight (it can be a little deceiving), but it’s another tool in your kit of figuring out whether you need to lose weight. If you’re not sure whether or not you need to lose weight, a step on the scale may add a little more illumination.

8. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU EAT

Most adult women need to consume about 2,000 to 2,500 calories per day to keep at a healthy weight. If you have no idea what you eat, or how many calories your diet provides you, then it’s another sign you need to lose weight. This would be an ideal time to start a food journal, to see what you eat, and when, and what your daily caloric intake might be.

9. YOU DON’T FIT

While your roommate was shrinking your swimsuit, did she also make all the kitchen chairs smaller, and the bathtub more narrow? If your body doesn’t fit into the furniture or the house quite the same way, this could be another sign you need to lose weight… or you have a very, very crafty and cruel roomie.

10. YOUR BODY TELLS YOU

All of these signs you need to lose weigh pale in comparison to what your heart, and the rest of your body, is telling you. Listen to yourself… again, your inner voice may be trying to tell you something you just don’t want to hear.

If you’ve read this list, and three or more of these points sound very, painfully familiar (especially #4), it’s definitely time to consider beginning a serious weight loss journey. It’s not an easy realization, but it’s an important first step to a healthier, fitter, happier you! If you’ve lost weight, which of these signs helped get you going? Or was there another sign you need to lose weight that got you started?

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Natural Detox To Help Maintain A Flat Stomach

Why not give this refreshing detox water a try!

Its a natural detox that will help flush impurities out of your system helping you maintain a flat belly 🙂

2 Lemons

1/2 Cucumber

10-12 Mint Leaves

Water

Leave overnight for a totally natural detox.

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A Letter from Non BPD’s from a sufferer of Borderline Personality Disorder.

Dear Non BPD,

You may be frustrated, feeling helpless and ready to give up. It’s not your fault. You are not the cause of our suffering, you may find that difficult to believe because we lash out at you, switch from being loving and kind to non trusting, nasty & unbearable, we may even blame you from time to time, but it’s not your fault. You deserve to understand about this condition, what we wish we could say, but we may not be ready.

It is possible that something that you said or did ‘triggered us’ A ‘trigger’ is something that sets off in our mind, A post traumatic event maybe or something that causes us to have distressing thoughts. While you can attempt to be sensitive with the things you say and do, that’s not always possible and it’s not always clear why something sets off a trigger.

The Mind is very complex, A certain song, sound, smell or words, can quickly fire of neurological connections that brings us back to a place where we didn’t feel safe and we may respond now with a similar reaction. (think of a military person who fights in combat – a simple backfiring of a car can send them into flashbacks This is known as PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) This can happen a lot too us too.

But Please know at the very same time we are pushing you away with our words or behaviour, We also desperately hope you will not leave us in our time of desperation and despair.

This is Extreme ‘black and white thinking’ (Black and white thinking  is when someone is only able to see the extremes of a situation, and is unable to see the “gray areas” or complexities of the situation)  We will learn how to deal with this in therapy, but until then we may not have the proper tools to tell you this or ask for help and support.

We may do very dramatic things, such as harm ourselves in some way (or threatening to do so) going to hospital or something similar,  While these cries for help should be taken seriously, we understand that you may feel worn out from worrying about us and our repeated behaviour.

Please trust us. With professional help, and despite what you may have heard or read or have come to believe, we CAN and we DO get better.

These episodes get father and fewer between and we can experience long periods of stability and regulation of our emotions. sometimes the best you can do if you can muster up the strength in the frustration and hurt is to grab us, hug us and tell us that you love us and are not leaving.

One of the Symptoms of BPD is intense fear of being abandoned and we therefore (often unconsciously) sometimes behave in extreme, frantic ways to avoid this happening, even our perception that abandonment is going to happen can because us to become frantic.

Another thing that you may find confusing is our apparent inability to maintain relationships. We may jump from one friend to another, going from loving and idolising them to despising them- deleting their numbers and un-friending them on Facebook. We may avoid you, not answer your calls and decline invitations to be around you- and other times, all we want to do is be around you.

This is called ‘Splitting’ its another part of the disorder, sometimes we make the first move in order to protect ourselves, by disowning people before they can reject or  abandon us. Were not saying its ‘right’ We can work through this destructive pattern and learn how to be healthier when it comes to maintaining relationships. It doesn’t come naturally to us, it WILL take a lot of time and effort.

Its difficult, after all, to relate to others properly when you don’t have a solid understanding of yourself and who you are.

In BPD many of us experience identity disturbance issues, we may take on attributes of people around us, trying to find out who WE really are. sometimes we may even take on mannerisms of other people, We are one way at work, another at home, another with friends, this is how we got our nicknames as Chamelions.Some people work differently at home and work anyway, but you may not recognise us from the way we are at work to the way we are at home. it’s THAT extreme.

For some of us, in Childhood we experienced times with parents, caregiver, or other grown ups who could suddenly switch from caring or loving to abusive. We had to behave in ways that would please the caregiver at any given moment to stay safe and survive. We havent outgrown this.

Because of all this pain, we often experience feelings of emptiness. its smart for us to stay busy and distract ourselves when boredom starts to come on.

On the other side of the coin, we might have outbursts of anger that can be  scary. its important that we stay safe. It’s important that we do not hurt you or ourselves. This is just another manifestation of BPD.

Through Therapy we can learn how to regulate our emotions, so that we do not become out of control. We can learn ho to stop sabotaging our lives and circumstances. And we can learnt to behave in ways that are worrying or hurtful to you.

Another thing you may notice, is the spaced out look on our faces, this is called ‘dissociation’. Our brains literally disconnect and our thoughts go somewhere else, as our brains are trying to protect us from additional emotional trauma. We can learn grounding exercises and apply our skills to help during these episodes and they may become less frequent as we get better.

Remember that your words, love and support go a long way with helping your loved one to heal,even if the results are not immediately evident.

Not all the situations described apply to all people with BPD, a Person must only have 5 symptoms of 9 to be diagnosed, and the combinations of symptoms are seemingly endless. This post will just give you a typical understanding of BPD.

My Hope is that you will gain insight into your loved ones condition, grow in compassion and understand for both your loved one AND yourself. This is not an easy road but it CAN and WILL get better.

Do NOT read the negative  BPD forums or BPD hate forums, unfortunately there are people out there that don’t understand and are not willing to try. I would refrain from taking to going to these forums and bashing someone based on their mental health diagnosis.

WE ARE NOT MONSTERS. Everyone of us  is doing our best with the tools that we have.

Thanks for Reading.

BPD.

I originally found this letter on a website ‘Healing from BPD’ I felt it explained it quite well and I used some of the original and added a few items and words I felt were relevant to myself and my personal diagnosis. I hope you enjoyed reading it, I will post the original letter & blog site it came from when I set up Friends of Bridget Of The North’ Page 🙂