Writing your online dating profile? Take a look at these tips.

Writing your online dating profile? Take a look at these tips.

Be Honest. Always. Don’t lie about your height, age or weight: you’ll be found out soon enough. Don’t pretend to have a better job than you do, or that you’re more prepared for long-term commitment than you currently are. You don’t need to share all your dirty little secrets in your profile, but don’t create an awkward situation for yourself if it does lead to something.

How are you?’ is not a conversation starter. Try picking something you found interesting from my profile and asking me specifically about that.

Choose action shots: Wouldn’t you know, profile photos that demonstrate you playing your guitar or downhill skiing – even if your face isn’t showing – get more messages.

Get Over yourself. Don’t demand that your future partner love, worship, and adore you. Don’t list the qualities you believe you want. Instead, focus on what you have to offer. If you provide a list of dating rules or expectations, you wont be very popular.

Don’t do text speak. Just don’t. KK?

Never go into stalk mode. Sometimes guys just don’t take the hint. If we have chatted and nothing came of it, then a few weeks later you message again and we exchange a message or two. Lets not waste anymore time. “NEXT!”

Please ask about me. If you are not interested in what I have to say via messages, then I’m not likely to meet you in person for a meeting about how fantastic you are.

Never use your profile to write about the ex. Or about sex. Keep in mind the rules of first-date conversation and apply them to how you introduce yourself to strangers online, too.

Stay positive: Avoid negative tones and always be positive about yourself. Your profile is essentially your dating CV. You wouldn’t want a future employer to read anything negative, so why would you want a potential partner to read anything that isn’t positive?

Guys,If there is a female in your picture, you don’t look available or you look like a player. Guys, please stop using pictures of you and just one other woman. Oh, she’s your friend? Okay, yeah, whatever.

Don’t be pushy.  If you send someone a message and they reply to you with a “thanks, but no thanks” or they don’t bother replying at all, don’t try to convince them that you are the right person for them. They may change their mind on their own accord, but sending messages to them will make you seem scary.

Fill in every bit of your profile. Try to fill in as much information about yourself as possible, without writing an essay. Think about what your likes and dislikes are and what is important to you. Otherwise, how else will you become my future hubby?.

Don’t be weird, rude or sleazy. Enough said.

Check out my other posts.

Pimping your online dating profile.

How to write a dating profile and things you need to know.

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Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say!

There is one thing that really gets to me, I have stewed over it many times.
It’s ‘Why can’t people keep their word?’

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I’ve been one of those let down people many times, and fallen into the same trap time and time again. But because I do my best to keep my own word, I expect other people to do that too. I am a woman of my word and if I say I will do something, then I will do it, whether I like it or not. Otherwise I wouldn’t say it in the first place.

If I didn’t keep my word I would feel guilty and ashamed for letting the person down. So how can people say things to me that they don’t mean? or do they not realise what they are saying? how can they forget what they promised me? If the shoe was on the other foot there is no way I would want to let them down. What happened to loyalty?

People often just speak and then forget. And then they are then surprised at how seriously others take what they said. It leaves you feeling angry, cheated and like your feelings don’t matter. Some people give you false hope and say what they think you want to hear or what they need to get what they want, without thinking of the consequences because in the end it’s not important to them.

Theres a really good quote that springs to mind here (And I love a good quote)

Expectation is the root of all heartache – William Shakespeare

I have been naive, I have believed false promises and given false hope, I have been let down, I have been on the receiving end of a stab in the back, misplaced loyalty, hurt by those that don’t keep their word. It’s not easy, here’s a few pointers I have taken from my experiences..

Don’t expect too much. You won’t always get everything you expect, so to avoid let downs be prepared. People might not keep their word but if they do it’s a bonus.

Know the people you’re dealing with. If someone has let you down before, he or she is more likely to let you down again. But don’t rule  people out. there are loyal people out there, you just need to find people who care like you do.

Beware of NATO behavior. NATO = No Action Talk Only. Some people just say things without thinking and promise they will definitely help you or that they care for you, but when it comes to the real situation, they are the first ones to run away, make themselves unavailable or cut you off.

Confront the person to explain how you feel. If you’re a little wary of talking to the person, send a  text messages or e-mail. If they still can’t get it, tell them not to make empty promises. Make it clear that if they are not man enough to keep promises,then please don’t give false hopes. Tell them they can’t just say things and then be surprised when people take their words to heart. ‘If you don’t mean it, don’t say it’

Don’t trust promises from a forgetful person. This is common sense.

Cry on someone else’s shoulder if it’s really getting to you.  Have a good rant/winge/moan. It helps to share your emotions,so at least its out of your system.

Distract yourself. Getting disappointed is a huge blow, especially when you have your heart set on it. A good way to soften the blow is turn your focus on something else, do something else that you enjoy; play some sports, watch a movie, talk to a friend, go for a walk or something else that’s fun!
If you focus enough, you’ll be amazed how little that broken promise hurts now that you’re not thinking about it.

However, remember that if it’s not going anywhere and you are continually getting let down, it can get VERY painful for you. If you’ve tried talking to the person that has let you down and you have given them the benefit of the doubt and things aren’t getting any better, they are still making false promises and not keeping their word, then take a step back. mark their cards. Maybe forgive but don’t forget.

Sometimes its more difficult than that and it’s not that easy to forgive. ‘Trust is like glass, once broken it will never be the same again’  Maybe its time to move on, you deserve better.

7 Types Of Annoying Facebook Couples..Are You One Of Them?

7 Types Of Annoying Facebook Couples..Are You One Of Them?

We’re so happy you found that special person to share your life with, it’s not easy and not everyone is as lucky as you. Its lovely to hear your getting on well and to know that your relationship is so perfect.. But seriously, give it a rest.

Sometimes you love something so much you want to shout it from your virtual rooftop and that’s understandable and its great honestly, but it gets on people’s  tits nerves!

Personally, I think it rings alarm bells when people need to declare their love constantly or live out their ups and downs publicly for all to see. That’s just my opinion.

Do you disagree? do you think it’s perfectly acceptable for people to constantly declare their love on Facebook making most of us cringe? Well I am afraid your probably a culprit yourself.

Here are a 7 examples of the worst offences…

The Milestoners

10 year anniversary, 1 week anniversary, birthdays, Christmas, New Year etc etc.

**** I love my Boy so much, Cant believe how far we have come. This has been an amazing year and we have so much to look forward to in the next one. I have never been happier. I am so lucky to be blessed with a boy like him <3<3<3 

The Declarers

**** I love You ❤

***No I love you baby, come back to bed

**** I love you more snugglekins, I’m just going to run a bath, join me 😉

Seriously, she can probably hear you if you said it out loud, she’s just in the other room.

The Checkerinerers

**** has just checked in at ‘The big bed with my boo’ with ***

**** has just checked in at ‘on the sofa watching a film’ with ***

Ahh thanks for letting us know! the suspense was killing us!

The On/ Off’ers

**** Is now Single

**** Is in a complicated relationship

**** Is Married to ***

**** Is now single

And so on and so on. Stop being so impulsive, give it at least a minute or two after an argument before you decide to be ‘free and single once again’

The Jokers

We all love an inside joke, but constant inside jokes between you and your partner are boring to look at. We all just think it’s some kind of weird sex thing you have going on.

**** Penguins LMAO <3<3<3

The Happy Snappers

A picture of you and your partner sharing a magical kiss or laughing together is adorable and really cute to see. But not daily, it’s putting us off our dinner. Oh and PLEASE stop with the pictures of you two ‘in the big bed’ not my idea of romance.

The Boring

****Excited  for TV and pizza night with the hubby!”

*** “Gunna cook a big dinner for the wife” 

Like you do every day? you certainly know how to spoil a girl!…actually shit, I watched TV last night… and at some point today I am going to eat dinner too! I should update my status so everyone can see how fun being single is.

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Swinging; Are You Interested? Could You Do It? Do You Indulge?

Last night I watched an interesting documentary on swinging (Also known as partner swapping, wife swapping) I was fascinated to find that there are many different reasons people choose to take part in these activities. Some people are just curious and keen to explore to find out what all the fuss is about, some looking to experience new and exciting friendships with the view to fulfil their fantasies, some couples engage in these activities because they believe it will strengthen their relationships. When I decided to write this post I done a bit of snooping on the web and I was interested to find there are even websites dedicated to swingers, to help them meet other swingers like Swinger Nation Ireland there are chat rooms and forums where swingers openly speak about meet ups and other activities related to swinging.

Throughout the programme and my research on the subject this morning, one thing stood out to me, these couples maintained happy, strong relationships built on mutual understanding and in my opinion it seems the swinging was not seen as an act of sex but something fun to do with someone you love.

It also came to my attention that there were many single people females & males that took part in swinging and they were equally as involved as the couples. One lady spoke about how she generally despised the dating process and would rather meet at swinger parties/meetings where it is acceptable  to have sex on the spot with whoever they meet and feel attracted to.

I have always been very broad-minded and respect everyone’s lifestyle decisions.  I do understand  why swinging appeals to couples, as long as both partners are happy, its something you both want to explore and you can establish the difference between making love and having sex,  I say go for it!

So whats your take on swinging? Are you interested? Do you indulge? Have you tried it? 

Swinging

Pimping Your Online Dating Profile? Examples Of What To & What Not To Write In Your Profile.

Pimping Your Online Dating Profile? Examples Of What To & What Not To Write In Your Profile.

First of all take a look at a recent post I wrote How to Write The Perfect Profile And Things You Need To Know 

For those of you that are totally clueless, I have done some snooping and found some examples of the good, the bad and the avoid like the plague.

p.s I know some of these have lots of spelling mistakes, but they are as I found them!

good bad

The Bad:

Header: no time for time wasters..

i have facebook if ur interested in talking. i wont talk to people who r up there own a***s.. so seriously dont msg me if u love urself
* alot of people dont like abreviations.. i do it, get over it, not cos im lazy i just find it easier with a busy life like mine
looking to find some 1 who i can trust..
cant b botherd to write any thing else at the minute

The Basic:

My name is Mark I’m 32 years of age 6ft 8 in height, so very tall lol. My hobbies include Walking, Travelling, Listening to Music, Socialising. Looking for friendship maybe more

Please get in touch if you would like to know anything else.

The Honest:

I am an easy going sort of lad who does not take himself seriously, can be quiet but once you get to know me I never shut up lol. thoughtful, respectful reliable, and honesty are a few of my good points people would say.
I work as a chef been in the trade for fifteen years, so cooking would be another good point of mine. Outside the kitchen I like to a with friends and family, in between that I go to the gym also a keen runner or anything that gets me a sweat on.
Football is a big passion avid Newcastle United supporter.
The music that fuels my life is dance and indie don’t mind a bit of chart stuff to depending what it is. I like to think of myself as unique because hey arent we all and thats what makes this life worth living.

Anything else you want to know just drop me a message and we will take it from there.

Hope to hear from you soon.

The Weird &  Witty:

I have never owned a goat. I have absolutely no interest in them. Quite frankly they bore me.

“Nice n’ Spicy” Nik Naks are my third favourite crisps.

My Favourite books include ‘A History Of Goats’ by Penn & Teller (so fascinating), ‘Cooking with Gypsies’ by Keith Floyd & the entire Callum Best mystery series.

My Favourite Movies include ‘Withnail and Me’, ‘Jurrasic Island’ & ‘Jeremy Guire’. (I’ve seen them so many times! I know them word for word!) Another guilty pleasure of mine is ‘Robocock Vs The Cyber Sluts’ (I cry every time!)

The music I like tends to be really underground and alternative. I like bands you probably haven’t even heard of yet. Let us say no more about it. I am cooler than you.

I don’t actually like food. I sustain myself by digesting a mixture of flour, water and grass. I sometimes put a glacé cherry on top but it’s purely ornamental and I eat round it and pop it back in the jar afterwards.

I spend a disproportionate amount of my time thinking about the video for ‘Put Yourself In My Place’ by Kylie Minogue. Specifically the fact that while floating in the spacecraft the left sleeve of her spacesuit is removed twice. I find it quite upsetting. I’m also massively addicted to drugs so I tend to think about ‘scoring’ my next ‘hit’ of delicious, delicious drugs.

My hobbies include drinking****ails and making websites censor perfectly acceptable words

The Boring

Headline: I have nothing to say.

Hi I’m dana I’m young and smart love fun and enjoying my life.

The Straight Talking

About me, oh no this is the worst bit!? Well my friends in a recent poll said that I am relaxed and easy-going, I know how to make them smile and cheer them up which must be a good thing….I am also loyal, honest and gregarious.

In my spare time I enjoy looking after myself, going to the gym, cycling, spending time with my friends and family and of course a few beers at the weekend!

I enjoy life as you never know what is around the corner, I love doing random things including weekends away exploring and visiting new places, and of course we all have a good holiday in the sun in our repertoire of enjoyment! I enjoy going to see live music, seeing a good comedian, cinema, watching Newcastle United and eating out to name a few.

I have been single for a few years now, not because I am a weirdo but I do not seem to have found that amazing girl who just makes life fall into place, I would like to settle down with the right person, are you out there? I would however rather stay as a happy singleton than part of an unhapppy couple.

I am not interested in crazy women who want to get married tomorrow, Rome was not built in a day! I have a good job (I am a driller, think Armageddon not DIY SOS!). I have got a full head of hair, my own teeth, and my own car.

The rest is for you to find out of course so if you sound of similar mind and enjoy some of the things that I do why not get in touch?

The one with the bad attitude

Back on here after meeting someone and thinking we were going to be in a relationship and she turned out to be the same as all the other timewasting  women out there. if there is actually anyone decent send me a message. cant be arsed filling this in again. might do it later. If your  a heffer or a nutjob don’t bother as I wont reply.

*update: Im coming off this crap soon as its getting me nowhere.

The leading free online dating site http://www.pof.com suggests that, If you want to be successful , try talking about these things:

1. Talk about your hobbies.
2. Talk about your goals and aspirations
3. Talk about yourself and what makes you unique.
4. Describe your taste in music.

They also offer these words of wisdom..

For your own safety, do not include your name, phone number or address.

People will read both your profile AND message when deciding if they should write back to you. If your profile is really lame it won’t matter how good your message is.

So now we have established the guidelines on what to & what not to write, I have put together a n example of how my profile would go..

I can get on with pretty much anyone, I’m not obsessed with myself, I wear my PJ’s all day after a night out and I couldn’t live off salads 😐

I love spending time with my family & friends, travelling, being spontaneous,  I enjoy good food, good company and  good music to have a dance to. (a night raving on the Biggmarket and a pasty from the 24hr Greggs afterwards is not for me I’m afraid, though I can’t say I haven’t tried it!)

If I don’t like you I’ll be polite and pleasant, If I do like you I will be sarcastic and tease you relentlessly… I think I have somehow gotten this backwards.

Don’t Forget to take a look at How to write the perfect online dating profile & things you need to know for lots of hints and tips to write the perfect profile and get you back out there!

Happy Fishing! 

 

Why I Choose Not To Settle For Anything Less Than Butterflies…. What I Want In A Man.

Why I Choose Not To Settle For Anything Less Than Butterflies…. What I Want In A Man.

I have been pondering over this post for quite some time after a conversations with friends about my idea of a ‘perfect guy’ and after being asked why I am single? Truth is, I see my friends in and out of bad relationships & settling for someone just because they are desperate to settle down…I have done it myself, and I don’t envy them.

I am not a crazy girl who pulls out my notepad and goes through through a checklist every time I meet a guy, and I don’t think I have standards that are set too high, but after a couple of disastrous relationships, I refuse to just settle for the sake of not being ‘alone’

For me, being single means ‘I’m drama free, I’m less stressed, I can do what I want, when I want and I don’t have to check in with anyone’

Thats not to say that I wouldn’t change that to be in a relationship if the right person came along.. which is why I decided to take note of exactly what I want…or what he would have to put up with.

Type: I suppose if I were to label a type I would go for he would have to be a SNAG – A sensitive new age guy… a guy that still upholds the values of the retro-sexual ‘a manly man who doesn’t know the difference between aqua and teal and couldn’t care less’, but not quite with the same savvy style and good taste as the metro-sexual (but with a lot less hair gel and moisturiser), the SNAG is the perfect balance and tends to be a perfect gentlemen while still manly enough to scratch his balls in public.

The main attributes I would find most attractive in a guy would be…

Sense of Humour– This is actually one of the first things I notice, I’m not looking for a stand up comedian but I have what would be described as ‘British Humour’ and would look for a bond in someone similar.

Passion– Someone who is passionate about something, anything! it can’t hurt to care about something other than yourself.

Confidence– A guy who feels secure in his own skin.

Respect: A guy who respects you won’t make you do anything you are uncomfortable with.

Loyal: Loyalty is more than not cheating. Its a person who is honest and can commit to the commitment.

Dependable: A dependable guy doesn’t let down his wife or girlfriend (though a rare occasion is excusable) To be a dependable guy, you don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to be there and help in her time of need.

As for appearance…

Looks: Looks-wise I don’t have a preference, obviously there would need to be the attraction, but theres not a particular type that I would go for.

Build: Well I wouldn’t go for a really skinny guy..I wouldn’t want to hurt him now would I? and I have to admit I have a bit of a weakness for the muscular type.

Obviously the romantic, good in bed, cleaning, naked chef wouldn’t be bad attributes too.

So my list is a little longer than I thought, but I dont think its unachievable. I suppose it’s more about values for me than anything else, I don’t need much more than that as I am independent woman! Everything I own, I have bought for myself, everything I want, I work to get it for myself, everything I do, I do it because I want to.

I have my own car, I feed myself, I buy the clothes, shoes, hair that I want, I decorated my own flat how I want it and own everything in it and I have my own friends and family, and I am a single parent to a child who needs for nothing.

Because of these things I can be happy being alone which is why I refuse to settle for anything that is less… I’m not a man hater or a dragon. I choose to be this way. I’m not perfect but I’ve worked hard to get where I am today and I quite like it 🙂

I recently got this tattoo as a symbol of my independence it reads- Alis Volat Propriss – She Flies With Her Own Wings

Alis Volat Propriss Tattoo

Flattering Sex Positions And Tips For Fat Days! (We All Have Them)

Flattering Sex Positions And Tips For Fat Days! (We All Have Them)

Fat Days, unfortunately we all have them whether we’re a size 6 or 26!, but just because you’re  bloated or feeling self-conscious or you haven’t attended the gym enough this week,  doesn’t mean there has to be a no-sex rule!

There’s nothing that’s more of a mood-killer than being paranoid and struggling around trying to cover up your stomach or bickering about not having the lights on.

The first step to great sex is embracing your body and making use of it. If your partner is in bed with you, his main concern is going to be having sex with the beautiful woman in front of him!!

Here are a few positions to help you to fight the flab and feel great, leaving you to focus on having fun and not worrying about what you look like.

missionary

Missionary: Gravity is your friend in this case! Your stomach will automatically look flatter.

Tip:Make yourself look sexier by stretching your arms up over your head and grabbing onto the bedpost or by placing them flat on the wall behind the bed. It will make your stomach look flatter and your boobs perkier!

What is he seeing: He cannot even see your stomach if he is on top of you stomach-stomach and only a glimpse if he is kneeling a bit! He will get a good glimpse of your breasts, but will most likely be  looking into your eyes which makes for a very intimate time!

spooningDoggy Style: Rear entry positions are the most flattering, especially if your stomach is your least favourite part of yourself.

Tip: Arch your back a little and push your bum high in his direction, giving you a sexy feminine curve which he will find tantalizingly attractive! 

What he is seeing: He will only be able to see your bum, your thighs and your back. You could place  his hands on your hips to hold you steady while he thrusts, and you’ve also solved the wandering hands problem.

doggy style

Spooning: Spooning is among the best  positions to hide your stomach, your boobs and the front of your body

Tip: Lift your bum to allow him to penetrate, and tighten your thighs for maximum friction while his hands reach around to stimulate your clitoris. 

What he is seeing: The front of your body is hidden, so he will only be able to see you from behind, and since his front will be to your back that wont be much! Make plenty of satisfied moans and groans and perhaps stick on a porn DVD to give you something to look at and create maximum arousal.

Want more Ideas?

Try these blog posts:

100 Sex Positions To Spice Up Your Love Life (And Get Exercise Too, It’s All Good!)

Feeling Saucy? 7 Hot Ideas To Spice Up Your Sex Life! (That’s One For Each Day!)

The Frisky Girls To Do List.

For The Single Ladies: Sex Toys, Which One Is For You?