I run hot or I run cold. Tears stream down my face because my emotions are too strong to hold inside. Overflowing as I go from one extreme to the other. Pushing people away or holding on too tight. I turn my emotions inward because I’m afraid to hurt you. But I still do… I… Continue reading A powerful poem about Borderline Personality Disorder + Me
So Its been a while since I have written anything, my life has become a crazy world of toddler right now! My baby is nearly 1 and the last year has been the most amazing, wonderful year of my life. So much has changed. Mentally I am stronger than ever before, I've gone longer without… Continue reading There Is Light At The End Of That BPD Tunnel… Where Am I Now? My Road To Recovery
I wrote this post 'Understanding BPD' a few year ago. It's an insight into what mental health means for me. Nobody sees the nitty gritty I talk about here. As time goes on, my circumstances have changed yet the struggle is still real. It's been 8 years since my diagnosis. Over time I have learnt to… Continue reading World mental health day 2017 – Understanding BPD
So we all know I like things to be just right! and after the worst year of my entire life I want the birth of my baby to be perfect, as do all expectant parents. I was advised to set out some ground rules for my family and friends. So they know exactly what I… Continue reading My After Birth Rules For Visitors Of Our New Baby
Recently I have been talking about my concerns over the way I am perceived, the impact my mental health has in my life and how it often leads to being misunderstood and I become very upset and distressed. Living with an anxiety disorder & a personality disorder is tricky business and has to be approached… Continue reading Control Freak? OR Survivor? Perceive me as you will.
I wish I'd have learnt this sooner. Seems, I have had misplaced loyalties. I have been having issues with my relationships with other, some are unhealthy or toxic relationships, and some just need more boundaries. I'm trying to work out the best way to move forward with my life, cut out the negative and surround… Continue reading You have every right not to tolerate people that have treated you badly or that have made you doubt your self worth.
Last year I went through lots of tests and procedures in hospital, myself and my partner were then referred to a fertility clinic because I was told I had problems with my Fallopian tubes, because they were badly damaged and I had some other problems that were causing me a lot of pain. At one… Continue reading Pregnancy and BPD. It’s Not All Shits And Giggles (Prenatal Psychosis)
When I started blogging, I was sharing some fun exciting post, but a lot of my posts are brutally honest about my life, my experiences and my Borderline Personality Disorder and mental health issues. it was a place I could be totally honest and open up and say whatever I want without upsetting anyone or… Continue reading On The Borderline: Back To Basics
New year, is an opportunity to reflect on your past 12 months and set some goals for the next, which can only be a positive thing! 2016 has been a life changing one for me. I'm stronger in every way and have accomplished so much and of course it didn't without its BPD and GAD… Continue reading A lot can happen in a year….
I have been speaking to my Psychologist today and we got onto the fact that I am good at helping others in the same situation as me, yet I find it difficult to help myself. We spoke about all the things I have done in the past and I realised that my blog was something that was always useful and helped me to understand how I’m feeling.
I had forgotten all the work I had previously done and the things I have wrote about, I decided to take a look back on what my solutions were in the pas, because when I think about it, I am just dealing with the same feelings time and time again but just in a different situations and I need to draw on my past experiences and actions to help myself. I need to practise what I preach!
My aim this week is to care about myself how I would care for others. I already have the answers, I just need to believe in myself and remind myself I do know what to do. I always need a solution you see, I’m a problem solver so If I have an issue the anxiety will take over until I have worked out how to act to solve it.
The first post I have come across on my recap of the things I have learnt and coping strategies I have previously used is this one, It takes about toxic people and naysayers, which are a real trigger to me and we have spent hours talking about this in my appointments and how certain people affect my life and my intense mood swings so often and how I allow it. I am trying to let go of these people, and learn how to better deal with them.
In my case, it comes down to people close to me, so I just need to look at them differently, change the way I see our relationships and each of our our parts in it. I need to believe in myself more, and remind myself that others are not always right, I’m a strong, independent 28 year old woman, I know my personality and emotions better than anyone. I can make my own decisions based on my life goals and how I want to live it and I no longer need anyone’s approval, I especially need to let go of those that have a negative impact on my life and my mood.
This was a great read and has put things in some perspective for me tonight…
I stumbled across this fantastic blog post whilst looking into the effects that negative people can have in your life, I am going through one hell of a roller coaster at the minute and the time has come to leave behind negative people and ignore negative comments in order to carry on reaching for my dreams that had been forgotten and put aside whilst I was on a downward spiral and close to losing myself and being led down the same path as my ‘friends’. There’s a favourite quote of mine its ‘Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, just be sure you are not just, in fact, surrounded by assholes’ This post talks about those people and how to deal with them. I hope it helps you as much as it did me.
‘Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just…
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