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Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say!

There is one thing that really gets to me, I have stewed over it many times.
It’s ‘Why can’t people keep their word?’

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I’ve been one of those let down people many times, and fallen into the same trap time and time again. But because I do my best to keep my own word, I expect other people to do that too. I am a woman of my word and if I say I will do something, then I will do it, whether I like it or not. Otherwise I wouldn’t say it in the first place.

If I didn’t keep my word I would feel guilty and ashamed for letting the person down. So how can people say things to me that they don’t mean? or do they not realise what they are saying? how can they forget what they promised me? If the shoe was on the other foot there is no way I would want to let them down. What happened to loyalty?

People often just speak and then forget. And then they are then surprised at how seriously others take what they said. It leaves you feeling angry, cheated and like your feelings don’t matter. Some people give you false hope and say what they think you want to hear or what they need to get what they want, without thinking of the consequences because in the end it’s not important to them.

Theres a really good quote that springs to mind here (And I love a good quote)

Expectation is the root of all heartache – William Shakespeare

I have been naive, I have believed false promises and given false hope, I have been let down, I have been on the receiving end of a stab in the back, misplaced loyalty, hurt by those that don’t keep their word. It’s not easy, here’s a few pointers I have taken from my experiences..

Don’t expect too much. You won’t always get everything you expect, so to avoid let downs be prepared. People might not keep their word but if they do it’s a bonus.

Know the people you’re dealing with. If someone has let you down before, he or she is more likely to let you down again. But don’t rule  people out. there are loyal people out there, you just need to find people who care like you do.

Beware of NATO behavior. NATO = No Action Talk Only. Some people just say things without thinking and promise they will definitely help you or that they care for you, but when it comes to the real situation, they are the first ones to run away, make themselves unavailable or cut you off.

Confront the person to explain how you feel. If you’re a little wary of talking to the person, send a  text messages or e-mail. If they still can’t get it, tell them not to make empty promises. Make it clear that if they are not man enough to keep promises,then please don’t give false hopes. Tell them they can’t just say things and then be surprised when people take their words to heart. ‘If you don’t mean it, don’t say it’

Don’t trust promises from a forgetful person. This is common sense.

Cry on someone else’s shoulder if it’s really getting to you.  Have a good rant/winge/moan. It helps to share your emotions,so at least its out of your system.

Distract yourself. Getting disappointed is a huge blow, especially when you have your heart set on it. A good way to soften the blow is turn your focus on something else, do something else that you enjoy; play some sports, watch a movie, talk to a friend, go for a walk or something else that’s fun!
If you focus enough, you’ll be amazed how little that broken promise hurts now that you’re not thinking about it.

However, remember that if it’s not going anywhere and you are continually getting let down, it can get VERY painful for you. If you’ve tried talking to the person that has let you down and you have given them the benefit of the doubt and things aren’t getting any better, they are still making false promises and not keeping their word, then take a step back. mark their cards. Maybe forgive but don’t forget.

Sometimes its more difficult than that and it’s not that easy to forgive. ‘Trust is like glass, once broken it will never be the same again’  Maybe its time to move on, you deserve better.

42 Things All Noughties Teenagers Will Remember

42 Things All Noughties Teenagers Will Remember

Hannah Gale

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1. Smirnoff Ice, WKD and Archers. Tiny bottles of sugary alcohol that made you talk to boys, throw up and get told off by your parents. Goody.

2. Spending an entire week waiting for the next episode of The O.C. Fancying Seth Cohen, wanting to be Summer Roberts, and feeling awkwardly not sad when Marisa died. Oh.

3. Stripy highlights. Big blonde chunky strips through your over-straightened hair that made you look like the fourth member of Atomic Kitten, the somewhat cooler version of Kerry Katona.

4. Denim everything. Denim jackets, the perfect denim mini skirt, denim pedal pushers, denim handbags. Firmly believing Bewitched were on to something.

5. Teaming said denim mini skirt with (faux) UGG boots, dolly shoes or bright pink Converse and feeling like you’d finally nailed looking cool on non-school uniform day. Well done you, high five. All the boys will fancy you now.

6…

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Make Time To Be A Friend. It Could Save Someone’s Life

Make Time To Be A Friend. It Could Save Someone’s Life

Dealing with my own personal problems and having to move away from my home town to create a better life for myself & my daughter means that I am well aware of how much I rely on my friends for support. I understand the importance of making time for my friends and being there for them or just letting them know they are not alone because knowing you are not alone is the best thing for anyone when going through a tough time. Friends can mean the world – when you’re feeling stressed or upset, they can be a real source of support.

Time To Change has started a new campaign #maketime and I think it’s a fantastic idea and I knew I had to pass on the word, because it really can make a difference to someone who could be facing difficulties, it could even save them from taking their own life. Anyone can experience a mental health problem, so being able to talk about it is important to us all.

You don’t need to be an expert to talk about it. And it’s often the small things you do and say that can make a big difference to someone – like asking ‘How are you?’ or dropping them a text to say hello.

It will let them know you haven’t forgotten them and that your there if they need you.

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How to help someone with mental health problems

If someone you know is experiencing mental health problems or needs urgent support, there are lots of services that you can go to for help.

You can also find out more about:

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Source: http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/talk-about-mental-health