There is one thing that really gets to me, I have stewed over it many times.
It’s ‘Why can’t people keep their word?’
I’ve been one of those let down people many times, and fallen into the same trap time and time again. But because I do my best to keep my own word, I expect other people to do that too. I am a woman of my word and if I say I will do something, then I will do it, whether I like it or not. Otherwise I wouldn’t say it in the first place.
If I didn’t keep my word I would feel guilty and ashamed for letting the person down. So how can people say things to me that they don’t mean? or do they not realise what they are saying? how can they forget what they promised me? If the shoe was on the other foot there is no way I would want to let them down. What happened to loyalty?
People often just speak and then forget. And then they are then surprised at how seriously others take what they said. It leaves you feeling angry, cheated and like your feelings don’t matter. Some people give you false hope and say what they think you want to hear or what they need to get what they want, without thinking of the consequences because in the end it’s not important to them.
Theres a really good quote that springs to mind here (And I love a good quote)
Expectation is the root of all heartache – William Shakespeare
I have been naive, I have believed false promises and given false hope, I have been let down, I have been on the receiving end of a stab in the back, misplaced loyalty, hurt by those that don’t keep their word. It’s not easy, here’s a few pointers I have taken from my experiences..
Don’t expect too much. You won’t always get everything you expect, so to avoid let downs be prepared. People might not keep their word but if they do it’s a bonus.
Know the people you’re dealing with. If someone has let you down before, he or she is more likely to let you down again. But don’t rule people out. there are loyal people out there, you just need to find people who care like you do.
Beware of NATO behavior. NATO = No Action Talk Only. Some people just say things without thinking and promise they will definitely help you or that they care for you, but when it comes to the real situation, they are the first ones to run away, make themselves unavailable or cut you off.
Confront the person to explain how you feel. If you’re a little wary of talking to the person, send a text messages or e-mail. If they still can’t get it, tell them not to make empty promises. Make it clear that if they are not man enough to keep promises,then please don’t give false hopes. Tell them they can’t just say things and then be surprised when people take their words to heart. ‘If you don’t mean it, don’t say it’
Don’t trust promises from a forgetful person. This is common sense.
Cry on someone else’s shoulder if it’s really getting to you. Have a good rant/winge/moan. It helps to share your emotions,so at least its out of your system.
Distract yourself. Getting disappointed is a huge blow, especially when you have your heart set on it. A good way to soften the blow is turn your focus on something else, do something else that you enjoy; play some sports, watch a movie, talk to a friend, go for a walk or something else that’s fun!
If you focus enough, you’ll be amazed how little that broken promise hurts now that you’re not thinking about it.
However, remember that if it’s not going anywhere and you are continually getting let down, it can get VERY painful for you. If you’ve tried talking to the person that has let you down and you have given them the benefit of the doubt and things aren’t getting any better, they are still making false promises and not keeping their word, then take a step back. mark their cards. Maybe forgive but don’t forget.
Sometimes its more difficult than that and it’s not that easy to forgive. ‘Trust is like glass, once broken it will never be the same again’ Maybe its time to move on, you deserve better.