I have been pondering over this post for quite some time after a conversations with friends about my idea of a ‘perfect guy’ and after being asked why I am single? Truth is, I see my friends in and out of bad relationships & settling for someone just because they are desperate to settle down…I have done it myself, and I don’t envy them.
I am not a crazy girl who pulls out my notepad and goes through through a checklist every time I meet a guy, and I don’t think I have standards that are set too high, but after a couple of disastrous relationships, I refuse to just settle for the sake of not being ‘alone’
For me, being single means ‘I’m drama free, I’m less stressed, I can do what I want, when I want and I don’t have to check in with anyone’
Thats not to say that I wouldn’t change that to be in a relationship if the right person came along.. which is why I decided to take note of exactly what I want…or what he would have to put up with.
Type: I suppose if I were to label a type I would go for he would have to be a SNAG – A sensitive new age guy… a guy that still upholds the values of the retro-sexual ‘a manly man who doesn’t know the difference between aqua and teal and couldn’t care less’, but not quite with the same savvy style and good taste as the metro-sexual (but with a lot less hair gel and moisturiser), the SNAG is the perfect balance and tends to be a perfect gentlemen while still manly enough to scratch his balls in public.
The main attributes I would find most attractive in a guy would be…
Sense of Humour– This is actually one of the first things I notice, I’m not looking for a stand up comedian but I have what would be described as ‘British Humour’ and would look for a bond in someone similar.
Passion– Someone who is passionate about something, anything! it can’t hurt to care about something other than yourself.
Confidence– A guy who feels secure in his own skin.
Respect: A guy who respects you won’t make you do anything you are uncomfortable with.
Loyal: Loyalty is more than not cheating. Its a person who is honest and can commit to the commitment.
Dependable: A dependable guy doesn’t let down his wife or girlfriend (though a rare occasion is excusable) To be a dependable guy, you don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to be there and help in her time of need.
As for appearance…
Looks: Looks-wise I don’t have a preference, obviously there would need to be the attraction, but theres not a particular type that I would go for.
Build: Well I wouldn’t go for a really skinny guy..I wouldn’t want to hurt him now would I? and I have to admit I have a bit of a weakness for the muscular type.
Obviously the romantic, good in bed, cleaning, naked chef wouldn’t be bad attributes too.
So my list is a little longer than I thought, but I dont think its unachievable. I suppose it’s more about values for me than anything else, I don’t need much more than that as I am independent woman! Everything I own, I have bought for myself, everything I want, I work to get it for myself, everything I do, I do it because I want to.
I have my own car, I feed myself, I buy the clothes, shoes, hair that I want, I decorated my own flat how I want it and own everything in it and I have my own friends and family, and I am a single parent to a child who needs for nothing.
Because of these things I can be happy being alone which is why I refuse to settle for anything that is less… I’m not a man hater or a dragon. I choose to be this way. I’m not perfect but I’ve worked hard to get where I am today and I quite like it 🙂
I recently got this tattoo as a symbol of my independence it reads- Alis Volat Propriss – She Flies With Her Own Wings