Pimping Your Online Dating Profile? Examples Of What To & What Not To Write In Your Profile.

Pimping Your Online Dating Profile? Examples Of What To & What Not To Write In Your Profile.

First of all take a look at a recent post I wrote How to Write The Perfect Profile And Things You Need To Know 

For those of you that are totally clueless, I have done some snooping and found some examples of the good, the bad and the avoid like the plague.

p.s I know some of these have lots of spelling mistakes, but they are as I found them!

good bad

The Bad:

Header: no time for time wasters..

i have facebook if ur interested in talking. i wont talk to people who r up there own a***s.. so seriously dont msg me if u love urself
* alot of people dont like abreviations.. i do it, get over it, not cos im lazy i just find it easier with a busy life like mine
looking to find some 1 who i can trust..
cant b botherd to write any thing else at the minute

The Basic:

My name is Mark I’m 32 years of age 6ft 8 in height, so very tall lol. My hobbies include Walking, Travelling, Listening to Music, Socialising. Looking for friendship maybe more

Please get in touch if you would like to know anything else.

The Honest:

I am an easy going sort of lad who does not take himself seriously, can be quiet but once you get to know me I never shut up lol. thoughtful, respectful reliable, and honesty are a few of my good points people would say.
I work as a chef been in the trade for fifteen years, so cooking would be another good point of mine. Outside the kitchen I like to a with friends and family, in between that I go to the gym also a keen runner or anything that gets me a sweat on.
Football is a big passion avid Newcastle United supporter.
The music that fuels my life is dance and indie don’t mind a bit of chart stuff to depending what it is. I like to think of myself as unique because hey arent we all and thats what makes this life worth living.

Anything else you want to know just drop me a message and we will take it from there.

Hope to hear from you soon.

The Weird &  Witty:

I have never owned a goat. I have absolutely no interest in them. Quite frankly they bore me.

“Nice n’ Spicy” Nik Naks are my third favourite crisps.

My Favourite books include ‘A History Of Goats’ by Penn & Teller (so fascinating), ‘Cooking with Gypsies’ by Keith Floyd & the entire Callum Best mystery series.

My Favourite Movies include ‘Withnail and Me’, ‘Jurrasic Island’ & ‘Jeremy Guire’. (I’ve seen them so many times! I know them word for word!) Another guilty pleasure of mine is ‘Robocock Vs The Cyber Sluts’ (I cry every time!)

The music I like tends to be really underground and alternative. I like bands you probably haven’t even heard of yet. Let us say no more about it. I am cooler than you.

I don’t actually like food. I sustain myself by digesting a mixture of flour, water and grass. I sometimes put a glacé cherry on top but it’s purely ornamental and I eat round it and pop it back in the jar afterwards.

I spend a disproportionate amount of my time thinking about the video for ‘Put Yourself In My Place’ by Kylie Minogue. Specifically the fact that while floating in the spacecraft the left sleeve of her spacesuit is removed twice. I find it quite upsetting. I’m also massively addicted to drugs so I tend to think about ‘scoring’ my next ‘hit’ of delicious, delicious drugs.

My hobbies include drinking****ails and making websites censor perfectly acceptable words

The Boring

Headline: I have nothing to say.

Hi I’m dana I’m young and smart love fun and enjoying my life.

The Straight Talking

About me, oh no this is the worst bit!? Well my friends in a recent poll said that I am relaxed and easy-going, I know how to make them smile and cheer them up which must be a good thing….I am also loyal, honest and gregarious.

In my spare time I enjoy looking after myself, going to the gym, cycling, spending time with my friends and family and of course a few beers at the weekend!

I enjoy life as you never know what is around the corner, I love doing random things including weekends away exploring and visiting new places, and of course we all have a good holiday in the sun in our repertoire of enjoyment! I enjoy going to see live music, seeing a good comedian, cinema, watching Newcastle United and eating out to name a few.

I have been single for a few years now, not because I am a weirdo but I do not seem to have found that amazing girl who just makes life fall into place, I would like to settle down with the right person, are you out there? I would however rather stay as a happy singleton than part of an unhapppy couple.

I am not interested in crazy women who want to get married tomorrow, Rome was not built in a day! I have a good job (I am a driller, think Armageddon not DIY SOS!). I have got a full head of hair, my own teeth, and my own car.

The rest is for you to find out of course so if you sound of similar mind and enjoy some of the things that I do why not get in touch?

The one with the bad attitude

Back on here after meeting someone and thinking we were going to be in a relationship and she turned out to be the same as all the other timewasting  women out there. if there is actually anyone decent send me a message. cant be arsed filling this in again. might do it later. If your  a heffer or a nutjob don’t bother as I wont reply.

*update: Im coming off this crap soon as its getting me nowhere.

The leading free online dating site http://www.pof.com suggests that, If you want to be successful , try talking about these things:

1. Talk about your hobbies.
2. Talk about your goals and aspirations
3. Talk about yourself and what makes you unique.
4. Describe your taste in music.

They also offer these words of wisdom..

For your own safety, do not include your name, phone number or address.

People will read both your profile AND message when deciding if they should write back to you. If your profile is really lame it won’t matter how good your message is.

So now we have established the guidelines on what to & what not to write, I have put together a n example of how my profile would go..

I can get on with pretty much anyone, I’m not obsessed with myself, I wear my PJ’s all day after a night out and I couldn’t live off salads 😐

I love spending time with my family & friends, travelling, being spontaneous,  I enjoy good food, good company and  good music to have a dance to. (a night raving on the Biggmarket and a pasty from the 24hr Greggs afterwards is not for me I’m afraid, though I can’t say I haven’t tried it!)

If I don’t like you I’ll be polite and pleasant, If I do like you I will be sarcastic and tease you relentlessly… I think I have somehow gotten this backwards.

Don’t Forget to take a look at How to write the perfect online dating profile & things you need to know for lots of hints and tips to write the perfect profile and get you back out there!

Happy Fishing! 


Why I Choose Not To Settle For Anything Less Than Butterflies…. What I Want In A Man.

Why I Choose Not To Settle For Anything Less Than Butterflies…. What I Want In A Man.

I have been pondering over this post for quite some time after a conversations with friends about my idea of a ‘perfect guy’ and after being asked why I am single? Truth is, I see my friends in and out of bad relationships & settling for someone just because they are desperate to settle down…I have done it myself, and I don’t envy them.

I am not a crazy girl who pulls out my notepad and goes through through a checklist every time I meet a guy, and I don’t think I have standards that are set too high, but after a couple of disastrous relationships, I refuse to just settle for the sake of not being ‘alone’

For me, being single means ‘I’m drama free, I’m less stressed, I can do what I want, when I want and I don’t have to check in with anyone’

Thats not to say that I wouldn’t change that to be in a relationship if the right person came along.. which is why I decided to take note of exactly what I want…or what he would have to put up with.

Type: I suppose if I were to label a type I would go for he would have to be a SNAG – A sensitive new age guy… a guy that still upholds the values of the retro-sexual ‘a manly man who doesn’t know the difference between aqua and teal and couldn’t care less’, but not quite with the same savvy style and good taste as the metro-sexual (but with a lot less hair gel and moisturiser), the SNAG is the perfect balance and tends to be a perfect gentlemen while still manly enough to scratch his balls in public.

The main attributes I would find most attractive in a guy would be…

Sense of Humour– This is actually one of the first things I notice, I’m not looking for a stand up comedian but I have what would be described as ‘British Humour’ and would look for a bond in someone similar.

Passion– Someone who is passionate about something, anything! it can’t hurt to care about something other than yourself.

Confidence– A guy who feels secure in his own skin.

Respect: A guy who respects you won’t make you do anything you are uncomfortable with.

Loyal: Loyalty is more than not cheating. Its a person who is honest and can commit to the commitment.

Dependable: A dependable guy doesn’t let down his wife or girlfriend (though a rare occasion is excusable) To be a dependable guy, you don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to be there and help in her time of need.

As for appearance…

Looks: Looks-wise I don’t have a preference, obviously there would need to be the attraction, but theres not a particular type that I would go for.

Build: Well I wouldn’t go for a really skinny guy..I wouldn’t want to hurt him now would I? and I have to admit I have a bit of a weakness for the muscular type.

Obviously the romantic, good in bed, cleaning, naked chef wouldn’t be bad attributes too.

So my list is a little longer than I thought, but I dont think its unachievable. I suppose it’s more about values for me than anything else, I don’t need much more than that as I am independent woman! Everything I own, I have bought for myself, everything I want, I work to get it for myself, everything I do, I do it because I want to.

I have my own car, I feed myself, I buy the clothes, shoes, hair that I want, I decorated my own flat how I want it and own everything in it and I have my own friends and family, and I am a single parent to a child who needs for nothing.

Because of these things I can be happy being alone which is why I refuse to settle for anything that is less… I’m not a man hater or a dragon. I choose to be this way. I’m not perfect but I’ve worked hard to get where I am today and I quite like it 🙂

I recently got this tattoo as a symbol of my independence it reads- Alis Volat Propriss – She Flies With Her Own Wings

Alis Volat Propriss Tattoo