Advantages Of BPD . . . Lets Look At The Positives For A Change!

Advantages Of BPD . . . Lets Look At The Positives For A Change!

I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder for 3 years now, through all the suffering and the pain and the constant emotional battle, I rarely hear anyone saying anything positive regarding  BPD.

Although all of us have different traits and personalities, and traits of some borderlines with be the complete opposite of another…. but maybe we  aren’t like this for no reason?

What positive aspects can you pull from your BPD?

An animals ability to adapt to its environment is probably the single biggest factor in its survival. For me, aspects of BPD seem like they stem from a sort of ultra adaptability.

I am the type of person who can really do anything, and I usually do it pretty well.
I’ve worked so many different jobs, tried so many different hobbies, started so many different businesses and helped many others do the same. I feel like that is partly because I can constantly rebuild my self-image to suit whatever role is necessary.

Every person I talk to get a slightly different voice/persona, it’s always well adapted to the target and the result is always positive, I don’t fail interviews and my bosses/mentors are always pleased with my work and expect me to excel.

I am writing this post to prove it’s not all bad, its not all in the textbooks! There ARE advantages of having a mental illness such as BPD.

optimism

Here are a few that I for one am thankful for.

I am..

  • PASSIONATE: Extreme intensity of passion when I find something that interests me.
  • INDIVIDUAL: I  strongly cultivate my individualism and enjoy applying my abilities to new tasks.
  • SPONTANEOUS: ‘The Art of living in the moment’.. doing whatever it is I feel I want to do at that moment. Being Free.
  • CURIOUS: I’m curious about anything and everything, therefore taking more interest in people and in their interests.
  • INTENSE: Every moment of life is experienced at extreme intensity, experiencing life to the fullest with both the highs and the lows.
  • INSIGHTFUL: Since I have experienced so much pain in my past, I am able to draw on these experiences for the present moment via self-awareness, helping myself and others.
  • EMPATHETIC  & COMPASSIONATE: Empathy is the capacity to recognize and, to some extent, share feelings (such as sadness or happiness) that are being experienced by another. Some borderlines do not have any, I however have super empathy and can have a lot of compassion for those around me, whether I am feeling high or low.
  • CREATIVE: ‘ Having the ability to create’…This is one of my favourite Borderline Super Powers’  The  quote below is hanging in my kitchen (In a collage that I created)  that reminds me of the positive aspects of BPD when I’m struggling to see any



My creative gifts are worth the mental illness, I’ve suffered for them.  

bpd faces

So while this mercurial sense of self can be negative, and leads to BPD behaviours, it can also be a huge advantage.

As a Borderline, I  can be anything and everything I  want, most people can’t adapt like that..so if you understand the content of this post,  maybe you could try to use this as an  advantage? Use your flexible self-image to rebuild yourself positively, rebuild a version of yourself that can’t be negative or sad, or self-pitying.

We are actually in much more control of our persona’s than most normals, they can’t recreate themselves so easily. We will undoubtedly fall apart after rebuilding ourselves, we need to just remember to keep rebuilding the same house, every time we do it, it will become stronger and stronger, and eventually…this will all be a thing of the past.

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45 thoughts on “Advantages Of BPD . . . Lets Look At The Positives For A Change!

  1. Thank you..for over 50 years…I had no diagnosis! then I did.. the dark weight of this burden almost lifted, untill now… we need this good and positive news, I now suffer only for my daughters, who havent come to terms with thier mother and thier own inheritence. thank you

    1. Thank you for your feedback, its really nice that you could relate to this post!
      I think Positivity is the way forward! There is enough negativity around BPD, its time for a change!
      I wish you and your daughters all the best! xxx

      1. Thank you!!! This article was SOOO refreshing! I have been this way my whole life. It is a dark tunnel that we have to go down, and sometimes it seems so very dark, scary, and hopeless are just a few of the descriptive words I can think of when I see my life down the road. I really LOVE this! I hope you don’t mind that I am printing this to put on my bathroom mirror.” Positive thoughts, make a more positive life! ” Thank you for this positive LIGHT to the end of my tunnel! BIG HUGS!

      2. Think god I’m not the only one who feels like this ! My Now GF suffers from BPD and I’m a high functioning narcissist . I found out about her illness before she admitted it to me and decided to stay in her life despite her self destructive behaviors at the time . I’m gonna show this to her to prove my theories and to show her why I love her so much .

  2. I am a 49 y/o male and I just got my “diagnosis”. The thing is, when I was a teenager (11-14 or so) my Mom and Dad sent me to a psychologist for a couple years. Recently I have been having more “issues” in life. I talked to my mom today and it finally dawned on me that I had never asked her what my official diagnosis had been at that time. She told me that it was BPD. She also said that they told her at the time that they had to have a diagnosis for insurance purposes and that was the one that most closely “fit”. Anyway, I am actually relieved by this. For several years I have been told that I am bipolar and that has always seemed to not fit very well. My mom has told me that, even as a young child, I was VERY sensitive and VERY creative. I am also highly intelligent (IQ 138). My biggest problems are that I have a low self-esteem and tend to ignore problems rather than deal with them head on (like bills for that matter). Thanks for posting about this.

  3. I am SO happy I found this. It seems as if I wrote this. I feel so relieved that other people with the same illness see the positive aspects of being us.
    I may suffer a lot, but my life is so adaptable and happy when I allow it to be. 🙂 And I think that these positive aspects makes us huge INSPIRERS. We are so passionate and adaptable and we excel so many things that we feel the urge, because of the super empathy, to inspire other people to do and be the same.
    I love being the way I am. I’ve suffered a lot, but I’ve learned to live like this and take the best of my borderline personality. That’s what having self-esteem means. ❤

  4. One more positive trait could be the ability to be “original”. Rather than doing what has been done before, we are often aware of seeing things from all angles at once, perhaps effortlessly. New ideas can come from this, as well as helping others see possibilities they may not have yet considered. As long as the motive has no strings attached, and as long as we monitor against giving away too much, we can build friendships like no other that will last a lifetime. But most of all, we must allow ourselves to believe that we “deserve” to be happy, even in light of the fact everyone has the right to change their mind. They usually don’t, however, because they see in us the authentic and genuine goodness we are afraid to admit we inherently have in our hearts.

  5. Thank you for this all is true. And the power to be original. I do feel like one of a kind. Just found out I have this depressed me a bit cause of all the stigma but I know I’m a good person just emotionally different.

  6. My whole life I was told I was too Emotional and Senistive, which was not helpful because it made me feel wrong for something I was born with. After suffering for years from being diagnosed with depression and anxeity,they finally told me I have BPD. I was scared and releived at the same time. It was nice to know I could put a “label” on what was going on with me. I have always been very creative and I like to think “original.” Suffering from this was scary by itself, I have lost friends and most importantly, who i thought at the time, was the love of my life because he reseachred BPD on the internet and books and was scared off by all the negative things we with BPD embark. He could no longer deal with my emotional up and downs and the turmoil. I was so hurt and felt so abandoned. It is so true that someone with BPD only see’s black and white, good or bad. I like to think i can just sense Bullsh*t and dont just beat around the bush, like some normal people who are more likely to be walked all over.
    Anyways, I have been in and out of therapy and hospitals and have read everything in the books or on the internet , and mostly everything I’ve found was always negative. I had to remind myself that the people in the books or in the websites they were reffering to have not been properly treated with DBT threapy. I found such comfort in this blog, reading about positive things that come from a person with BPD. I have been through so much pain, happiness and struggle throughout my life that I feel like I could write a book. We need more positive awareness about this disorder and I am so glad to see that you Bridget are taking that step. Thank you for sharing!

  7. Thank you! I’m a ‘newbie’ in this, found out that I am borderline about two months ago, I felt relieved… I finally knew what was wrong with me. An yes we are very creative (I graduated Fine Arts, and I have a MFA), and our gift and our curse (I think of it more as a gift) is the way we feel emotions… even if it’s more painful when we are hurt I think it’s worth it, the way we feel love, beauty, happiness… I won’t give anything in the world for that intensity! Especially love! 🙂

  8. Thank you for writing this! I am so glad this came up first in my search results. I was getting frustrated at the negative cloud that hangs over my thoughts about BPD and wondered… it can’t all be bad, can it? There has to be a good way to use this. I thought it would be a tough nut to crack, but you made it simple. Thank you again!

  9. The love of my life has BP. We have been married almost 40 years and I would jump at the chance to do it all over again. There are a lot of great people with BP in good situations that do not overtax their abilities to cope – no one is writing bad things about them; they are respected and deeply loved. My regret is that I did not understand what was going on for many years. Lots of heartache could have been avoided (and is, now).

    This blog is one of the few that points out some of the strengths of BP. I absolutely agree (as a close observer) with the strengths written here. Adaptability and originality are great. But I would go farther out on a limb and say that BP can be a tremendous positive in the right relationship. Love at first sight, complete devotion, most romantic stories – BP all the way. Whatever my problems might be, being married to a BP is a dream come true – I draw tremendous strength from the absolute, ferocious, unfading devotion of this spectacular woman.

    My wife’s BP has had an exceptionally positive effect on me as a spouse. I am far more honest, far more open, and frankly far more successful because of my wife and her BP. My wife needs a strong person who loves her absolutely, and really nothing else. Maybe Nietszche was in love with a BP – he was the one who popularized the saying “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger”. Maybe I am just very fortunate – my wife is extremely loyal. But there is far too much internet stuff out there from people from failed relationships, and not enough from people like me who live a dream come true every day with someone with real BP.

  10. I’m a 24 y/o male, and I was diagnosed with BPD 5 days ago…in that time, I’ve come to realize that a lot, (not all) of the situations in my life have been my fault. I don’t know my I.Q, I guess I’m creative, (I’m a musician), but…I have done a significant amount of self-harm/punishment to myself, and I honestly feel like I deserve it. Not only do I have BPD, I’ve also got one of the rarest eye conditions in the world (Knobloch syndrome).
    I was born visually impaired and over the years I gradually lost more vision.
    Growing up, I was scared and bullied not only for being visually impaired, but also for being a sensitive, “pussy”.
    I now have one working eye and almost lost it three weeks ago. When I was diagnosed with BPD, I was a little relieved that what was going on inside my head wasn’t completly unexplanable, but after doing some reading…I’m scared…I Know I’ve always been afraid to try and be happy because I fear that something terrible will happen to hurt me, but now my question is…will “I EVER” be happy!? 😦
    What if more therapy doesn’t work…?
    What if no one wants to be around me anymore…?
    I’ve hardly got friends as it is, and I’m scared to tell them…I’m standing on the edge and I’m afraid to go forward OR back away…this article, as amazing and positive as it is, doesn’t change the fact that I feel as worthless as an old sponge and that I deserve to be hated…I’m idiotic, and a jerk who just THINKS he’s nice U ︵ U
    I’ve read so much and tried to understand my emotions even before I was diagnosed, but for some reason, I could never completely control them. I can be hurt by the slightest comment someone makes to me about who I am…
    Also, I thought to myself yesterday, “Do I even know what trust IS?”, because I guess people with BPD have trust issues, which I’ve had trust issues for a number of reasons, and I tried reading about it…but because I learned what my diagnosis is…I don’t know if I actually FEEL anything, or if it’s just the BPD doing the feeling FOR me…so, with all that nonsense spewed out from my brain…I’ve got some very important questions…what do I do now?
    What are the first steps I should take?
    Who should I…trust?
    How do I stop being so mean to myself?

    Thank you for taking the time to read this.

    Sincerely,
    Genesid-west

    P.s. I’m really scared to even post this whole thing I weote…

    1. When ever you feel really down or fearful of hurting yourself contact your c m h t. Or crisis helpline. Please ask for help and don’t be frightened to talk to people. Mood stabilisers have really helped me but not everyone is happy to take them. If I could talk to my 20 year old self. I would say ask for help talk tell people how you feel and get therapy.to help with my self loathing. Spend time in getting to know my true self and don’t be fightend of being on my own. Talking is the best thing I’ve ever done. Now 20 years on I’m starting to feel alive if only some one had given me this advice all those years ago. Sam 😊

    2. hello, genesis. What you wrote was incredibly brave and I can only imagine took a great deal of strength to post. I am not a therapist and I think you should definitely be seeking therapy as your questions are very intelligent, understandable and intense. A trained professional will have the proper skills and training to guide you on the most important questions and issues you are dealing with.

      I am a 41 year old male and I live with my girlfriend who has been diagnosed with BPD. I have a less intense emotional stability diagnosis that therapy helped to at least manage if not out right cure. I hate the term BPD as I don’t think it is a “disorder”. I think a better description would be something like Intense Emotional Sensitivity. Being “emotional” and “intense” and “sensitive” are not bad things. Let me just say that my girlfriend’s intensity and sensitivity can sometimes cause “problems” or really just arguments with intense emotions. The flip side is the intense creativity and deep Love that she is capable of far, far, far outweighs any negativity. I will love this woman for the rest of my life no matter what because I respect the beauty and intensity of her personality. She amazes me everyday, even the days that are “difficult”.

      Please don’t get down on yourself. You are valid. Your emotions count and they matter. If someone is not understanding of an intense emotion you are experiencing it is most likely because they do not have the ability to feel as deeply or as sensitively as you. Try your hardest to control your emotions when you feel the intensity begin to rise. Having observed my girlfriend, I know that is easy for me to say but a very difficult thing to actually do. Breathing, quiet/light meditation and exercise help so much. Especially exercise. Exercise balances your body and your brain and really helps to even out a person’s psyche. A smart low sugar diet helps a lot too. Also, you are still young. Your body and brain are still developing and changing. 24 is a really intense age for any man and you are most likely experiencing the emotions and changes very intensely. These next few years will probably be difficult and emotional but as you naturally mature you will grow and as you grow you will begin to be able to manage your emotions with much more ease and comfort.

      In a lot of ways the period in life you are experiencing is like the home stretch of childhood. As your childhood fades and blends into adulthood you will begin to master yourself. What I mean by that is this: I often tell my girlfriend how God gave her a Super Suit but didn’t give her the handbook on how to operate her Super Suit. So she’s had to figure the damn thing out for herself. That, my friend, is not easy. But as you grow and mature you will become more at ease with yourself and the powers you have from your Super Suit.

      Please try to remain strong. Your emotions, while intense, are valid and they are yours to keep. Try to find somebody close to confide in. If that person is worth a damn they will be able to see all the positive things you have to offer. Most people in your situation are incredibly bright, passionate, funny, and interesting. Someone will eventually be able to see the good things you have to offer the world. If you are creative find something you love to focus your attention. Keep your head held high and be proud of who you are. That goes for all people with “BPD”. It’s a “difficult” gift. But a gift from God for sure.

      1. Thank you. Just thank you. I like thinking of having a Super Suit. Maybe that will help.

  11. This is perfect! I have often said that my passion is my biggest asset! Whatever makes me hate as much as I do also makes me love as much as I do! Without that fire I wouldn’t be doing the activism that I do now! I don’t think I’d be living at all without the fire 🙂

  12. I’ve had b p d and bipolar for over 20 years I think it’s made me the strong and courageous person that I am today I too have all the good trates that you have said. And have learnt to control my challenging ones. I’ve met the love of my life four years ago he has really helped me he is very mindful of how I feel and react to things. Always points out when I’m about to relapse and helps me back on my feet again. Also tells me every day how important my life is worth and points out all my good trates. He is my true rock. 😊

  13. Reblogged this on Cats & Tea and commented:
    I’ve just read this and I love it! It’s very true and perhaps we should all try to focus on the positives more, because there are genuinely good parts to having BPD. This is something I’m only just beginning to grasp so I really appreciate posts like these that help to make it clearer. Yay for BPD (joke!) 🙂

  14. This is great! So true and really positive to see it written out so clearly and well. Thank you! I’ve reblogged it, hope that’s OK. I think everyone with BPD should get to read it 🙂

  15. I agree with everything except the some BPD don’t have empathy…Often Narcissistic Personality Disorder is mistaken for BPD and visa versa. People with NPD do not feel empathy because it is all about them. But so many of the other symptoms are the same that people often get diagnosed with BPD when they are in fact NPD.

  16. I just love this! You know I recently also got diagnosed on the spectrum of high functioning autism and have been learning how to look at being an aspie and all that comes with it as a super power. BPD has the darkest stigma of any diagnosis I have suffered. You have shed light and revealed it is yet another super power and I thank you! Bright Blessings Bridget Of The North. ❤
    Pr1mros3 Gypsy

  17. Wow. I haven’t been “officially” diagnosed with BPD because I believe my psychiatrist and therapists know how sensitive I am to the issue (instead been officially diagnosed as PTSD and MDD), but I know in my heart that I have 6-8 of the BPD symptoms. For months (since BPD was first brought up) I was ashamed of the potential diagnosis, and constantly worried over “do I have this?” instead of working on myself. I’m currently in an intense DBT program and it’s been so helpful in getting me to take charge of my life. You are SPOT ON with the positives. Also, does anyone else have this ability to experience something “as if” it were real (close their eyes, imagine something like an ocean, or a bird flying, etc, and be able to almost feel it as if it were real, as if they were in the middle of an ocean or flying like a bird)? You can probably also see how this ability can also end up being a curse if gone the other way. It could just be PTSD but I know that BPD and PTSD overlap in many ways. Anyways, this “ability” has fueled my creativity, and I don’t think I would have this gift (amongst the other qualities listed above) if it weren’t for my PTSD/BPD.

    Anyways, thank you so much for posting this. This is very inspiring, and you’ve inspired me to hopefully begin to accept my probable diagnosis.

  18. I appreciate this post very much. As a 25 yr old female who has suspected bpd for many years, and who has been “gently” diagnosed, I feel like everything you’ve said rings true. I’ve always used the term “blessing and a curse” to describe my intensity. i’ve never known what it was or if it was all in my head (yep) and if anyone else felt it.

    I have always been, and others would describe me as empathetic, insightful, loving and artistic. I am a chameleon, and although my identity and sense of self is always fleeting, I feel like an explorer because I don’t want to live and experience just one life and i feel like I have to ability to experience MANY. I am just now beginning this journey b/c i’ve managed to mess things up pretty bad thus far and am on a self destructive, impulsive streak.

    i’ve been to several therapists, moved all around the country. i hope now i can use this “power” for good and stick with a therapist for long enough to see results.

    i have always felt like my heart is bursting, and even love feeling sadness. i will remember the quote “my creative gifts are worth the mental illness, i’ve suffered for them.”

    thank you for giving me strength to never forget the positives.

  19. It seems like all I see online about people with BPD are that they’re vicious, deceptive, and soulless. The stigma is terrible, so I am glad someone is finally putting the light on about BPD’s true, multifaceted presentation. I certainly share a lot of these positive traits. 🙂

  20. THIS IS AWESOME AND VERY TRUE! bpd is pretty shitty (sometimes – for the most part) and it’s a ton of work and involves a ton of self reflection / awareness / perspective… Whatever, I think we’re all WAAAAY more “sensitive/emotionally deep” (hyper sensitive, self aware) than others which can be the blessing and the curse. Makes me pretty adaptable too acting in whatever way would please those around me and be considered socially acceptable… I’m for sure more compassionate, empathetic, and passionate than others. As a result I live super fully in the moment usually… Sometimes in the park with my dog on a beautiful day can feel like I’m literally in heaven already… But after or during an episode or anxiety or panic attack I can feel like I’m literally in hell or on the virge of checking out… Lol

    BPD is weird af like last night I was in a rage I ended up on the floor sprawled out literally defeated and over living

    And today I got up, did my ish went to work, walked my dog, like its a new day I was totally over it…

    Not dwelling on past failures is super tough… Random memories of me f*cking up in either a huge or miniscule way pop up randomly and I have to talk to myself like woah woah woah why are we going there?… It’s in the past you can’t do shit about it now.

    IN CONCLUSION THERES POSITIVES AND NOT JUST NEGATIVES GREAT ARTICLE!

  21. Thank you so much for writing this post. I found it by googling “Borderline Personality Disorder” and “positive qualities”. I, too, am so tired of only hearing negative things about people with Borderline Personality Disorder. I was officially diagnosed with it in 2012, although I had suspected it for years before that, but it has always been very hard for me to accept my diagnosis because of all the extremely negative material you find online about BPD. It makes it easier to accept when I think that there might actually be some plus points to this illness.

  22. Hi ,thanks for this positive article !! It’s help me alot !! I’m Niharika from India!!! In India people are hardly aware about this BPD !! As I’m 32 years female and finally I diagnosed with BPD …now I realised after my diagnose that I have the BPD symptoms from last 15 years !!! I know it’s very hard to recognise utill scary incident happened!!!
    It’s a long story but I think those who have BPD like me they easily can understand my struggle with life!!!
    It’s like RIDE IN A ROLLER COASTER !!!
    Before this diagnosed even I thought there is some supernatural power who controls me !! I feel like this way because of my extreem ANGER & extrem changes in EMOTIONS !!
    FINALLY!! I thankful to God that I got the exact path to work on it !!! But it’s sad to say when ever I tell anybody or discuss or search in a internet people alwaz see me or talk NEGATIVE ABOUT BPD!!!
    mostly articles are like BPD women’s are like hell !!! But as a BPD woman I’m not totally agree because as our one of symptoms are mood swings so when we are in a good mood people feel for us as THAT WE ARE ANGELS BUT WHEN OUR BLACK SHADE COME OUT THEY THINK WE ARE DEVIL!!!
    THATS there thinking , but I know how I feel personally!!! Judging some body is easy my simple answer for them is put your self in my shoes!!!
    I have seen many up and downs in my life !! Due to mood swings I still switch things according my interest !!? Interest build up soon and disinterest too!!! But it’s OK!! Although I experienced the things for little time but I do it with full of energy and passion!!!
    People who around me they are amazed with my performance !!!
    Before reading this article I was littledisappointed that every ones are seeing negative no one seeing positive aspects beause EVERY COIN HAS TOO SIDES!!? TALE OR HEAD !!! SO MY ADVICE FOR THOSE who have BPD !!! Please do not get influenced by other thinking ,,ask your self if your negative side is so powerful and effective so just imagine that your positive side can be so powerful & effective!!!
    So be good and take it positively that you are SPECIAL TO GOD TOO!!!
    GOD BLESS ALL!!
    THANKS!!! 🙂 🙂

  23. I completely agree with you. We focus far too much on the negative aspects of BPD, but actually, we’re pretty amazing and interesting people. Thank you for this.

  24. OH MY GOD! I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you Borderline Style 😝😜🤗🤣🤓😎. I could go on & on with specifics why but I think it’s pretty obvious. I’ve needed to hear something like this for so long. THANK YOU SO MUCH

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