More and more relationships have gotten their start through matches made on online dating sites. What’s the secret to writing a great online dating profile that delivers positive results?
Know the type of person you want to attract
You won’t get what you need from an online dating service unless you are clear about what you want! Some of your expectations will be basic: Age, educational level, perhaps religious beliefs. Others are core values that you are seeking in a partner. Whatever your relationship goals are, be absolutely honest… and explain what you are looking for. This could be a long-term, committed relationship that might eventually lead to marriage, or simply someone compatible to have fun with now. Discussing what is important to you in a relationship gives the people reading your profile a sense of who you are and filters out those who are looking for a different kind of connection.
Next to choosing your online dating site, the most important thing you’ll tackle is writing your profile. How you come across determines the type of person who will be attracted to you and want to make contact to explore the possibility of a relationship. Be yourself and be confident. You also need to be realistic and open-minded. Reflect your preferences but keep your expectations grounded in reality. There are nice ways to express absolutes without sounding exclusionary — “allergic to cigarette smoke” sounds more positive than “absolutely no smokers!”
A lighthearted and fun profile scores points, while negative comments discourage responses. Love your career, your hobbies, traveling? Talk about it and give potential matches some insight into who you really are. Embellishing the facts means you won’t make a true connection, so tell it like it really is. You don’t have to be specific about your age or physical appearance, but your results will be better if you don’t lie or stretch the truth. Remember that the goal here is to find a partner and that eventually you will be meeting in person. The extra 20 pounds or 10 years that you subtracted from your profile will come back to haunt you when you meet face-to-face.
Put your best (genuine) face forward. Everyone knows a picture is worth a thousand words, so choose one that represents the true you. Photos of you 10 years and 40 pounds ago don’t help anyone, and neither does refusing to put up a photo at all. Those who are shallow, superficial, or just plain wrong for you are the only ones who are going to reject you on the basis of your photo. Be confident in who you really are.
Make that first communication special and unique. This is where you really have a chance to let your personality shine through. It’s obvious when you’re writing one “You’re so great, I’d love to get to know you” letter and sending it to everyone. It doesn’t work in the bar, and it doesn’t work online. If you’re interested in someone, take the time to let them know.
Don’t be corny. Lines just don’t work, online or off. If you’re going to reach out and establish communication, you’re going to have to show the real you, and not just rely on cheesy lines. For many, pickup lines are a comfort zone, but that zone is never going to help you find the right person.
What to avoid
While online dating sites make an effort to screen their clients, it’s always smart to take safety precautions on your own. Don’t include specific information such as your address, phone number or place of employment on your profile. Most online sites also won’t list your last name to protect against unwanted contacts. Always be careful about the very personal information you share.
Avoid negative language and check your grammar and spelling before you submit your profile. You’re making a first impression, so polish it to a shine and present yourself well.
Virtual people have real feelings. You may think it’s okay to string someone along, to make fun of them, or to simply cut off communication one day, but these behaviors are as damaging as in offline life, if not more so. Online relationships often form a greater connection more quickly, and games and rejection can hurt even more. Always treat everyone as you’d like to be treated.
More Tips On Writing your Online Dating Profile
Writing your online dating profile is the most important thing you can do to attract someone. Your profile needs to be personal, interesting and at the same time give someone a general idea of who you are, without being too long or too short.
Post a headline about yourself tha twill draw people in. Take something that is different or unusual about you and include that in your headline. Don’t tell people things that are obvious. Use words carefully as opposed to merely coming up with uninteresting details about yourself. Don’t just write, “I enjoy cooking on the weekends.” Describe some of your specialties with detail. Most importantly, don’t brag. Bragging is a turn off. Disclosing facts about yourself is fine, but you shouldn’t do it to the point where you sound full of yourself.
Never, mention things about previous relationships or negative aspects of your life. Keep your description medium length, sweet and to the point. Nobody needs to know about your stamp collection which you started in 1st grade, save those types of details for later. When people are searching through thousands of profiles, less is often much better.
It’s important to be as much yourself as possible while you write your dating profile. It’s dishonest to pretend that you possess qualities that you don’t.
Keep your photo current and up to date. Always make sure to smile. Never use re-touched photos. If you touch up photos to make yourself look thinner or if you are covering wrinkles or anything else that the person will see when they meet you, then you are not showing your true self.
The final step to writing an online dating profile is to review what you have written. Before you submit it, you should look it over. Make sure that it sounds good, has enough information about yourself that someone might possibly find it appealing.