As I suffer from BPD I experience extreme emotions, through therapy I am learning to deal with these emotions and learn to stabilise them. I also live 60 Miles away from my family, so when I feel down or need some comfort or support its difficult sometimes and being alone can make matters worse. Part of my plan is to put together a comfort box, a selection of things that will give me the inspiration I need to carry on and reminding me of the good things in my life, whilst making life easier in my moment of need buy having things that can calm me, relax me and make me comfortable to give me the strength I need.
There are times in our lives when for many reasons we may feel depressed, alone, anxious, unloved or unsupported. There may be others around us, but they are unable to comfort us in the way we need, or we may be too distressed to tell them what we need. When this happens – a ‘comfort box’ can be very helpful to cherish and nurture you through your time.
The comfort box principle
When your child is feeling sad or down or worried, your instinct is to wrap them up, give them a warm milky drink and a favourite teddy and settle them down with a book, or favourite DVD. This helps make them feel loved and safe and warm.
You may have heard of the expression “the inner child” – the theory is that inside each of us is our own inner child who needs some attention and love.
A comfort box is a useful way of helping you to give yourself the care that your inner child needs… just as you would to your own children.
The idea is that you find a box, bag or something big enough to put what you need into it. Then sit and think what are the things that would generally bring you comfort?
Ideally, you will put your box together when you are feeling reasonably ok – in readiness for those more difficult times. Store it somewhere safe. All is not lost if you are not able to do that, as some suggestions follow.
My Comfort Box: These are the things I am putting in my comfort box.
- I have made a scrapbook out of an old notepad, decorated it and used a few uplifting words as decoration on the front. Inside I will be including things like, quotes that I like, photos, pages with certain happy memories, such as a day out with photos and tickets. My daughters christening, messages from family. Old birthday card messages.. I think you get catch the drift
- Photographs, friends, family, holidays, days out
- A small candle & Lavender Incense stick
- Paracetamol ( I usually get headaches with stress)
- Pictures that My daughter has drawn
- A printout of Time to Relax, ways to meditate any time of the day
- Memories of My Home town for when I feel homesick (Which is Middlesbrough)
Here are some ideas to start you off, but the best box will be of you own making…
- A soothing smell, such as vanilla or cinnamon or lavender.
- A new candle or tea light in a small holder.
- A favourite CD of relaxing or uplifting music.
- Something to wrap around your shoulders to hold you tight, like a shawl, blanket or pashmina.
- A favourite book, such as a novel, book of poems, or something from your childhood.
- You may also have your old teddy bear, doll or cuddly.
- Family videos or photos of good, happy times.
- Some find chocolate helps; if so a small good quality bar of your favourite brand.
- Some soft hankies.
If there is space in your home – you might like to designate a comfort corner or room that has a generally more relaxing atmosphere about it.
You don’t have to wait until you are feeling dreadful before you use your ‘comfort box’ – you can use it to nurture yourself whenever you feel like a bit of care and attention.