Middlesbrough (Smoggie) Translation


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As I am from Middlesbrough and live in Newcastle, I often get people misunderstanding the meanings of my words, even my daughter (who has lived here most of her life) and I have a language barrier sometimes, which also results … Continue reading

Today Is World Mental Health Day, Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)


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World Mental Health Day gives individuals and organisations the ideal opportunity to raise awareness of mental health within their community by providing a specific date to start the conversation about mental health. As most of you well know, I suffer … Continue reading

The Discriminating Doc: My Experience With Stigma And A Mental Health Professional

I have previously added a post relating to the Stigma towards BPD (Common Misconceptions And Myths Attached To BPD, Lets Get a Few Things Straight!. )

I’m going to share with you something that has made my blood boil for the past 2 days…

So I was talking to this guy that I was really getting on with, we shared laughs and seemed to have a lot in common. He is a mental health worker in a Crisis Unit in a Hospital. We got onto the subject of me studying mental health and completing my course and I mentioned that I would like to concentrate on some specialised learning in Personality Disorders because it really interests me.

See, I would like to do some charity work as when I was diagnosed, leading up to it and after the diagnosis,  I wasn’t happy with the care I received from the NHS and I  felt fobbed off. I know a LOT of people who feel the same way.I feel that the charities I received help from helped me so much more and actually cared for me as a person.

His response to learning about PD was…
‘ooh no, you wouldn’t like it. One thing I don’t like is PD, you can’t really treat them in our places you just have to not feed into them’

When I asked why he replied
‘It’s just attention seeking and manipulation, you get some really clever ones..so don’t fall for their shit. They will self harm and attempt suicide but not enough to kill themselves, just enough to make a scene and then they get off on it’

I told him that surely that would mean that they need the most help then. He then said
“‘Nope, they can only help themselves, there is no medication for them’

I was really upset and appalled that someone in that line of work could react like that, I am disgusted at the negative attitude of this ‘professional’. The stereotypical views and the discrimination against any mental health issue; let alone PD can cause great harm to a person. If this is the mind-set of someone working in a mental health emergency room then what hope is there for the rest of us?

At first it made me question everything I have learnt so far, I actually doubted myself for a minute and became a little angry and upset by it. I felt like a monster again, like the first day I got diagnosed and I Googled Borderline Personality Disorder and seen the negative blogs, websites and forums and seen the terrible things that people had to say about this type of disorder.

But then I gathered my thoughts and realised that actually, I have been treated. I have attended therapy for years and once I was taken seriously and finally given the right coping strategies and tools to work with,  I slowly learnt how to better regulate my emotions and manage my reactions and moods.

I certainly don’t feel like I did back then and have a better understanding of BPD,  meaning that I know the triggers and how to handle them. I haven’t had a breakdown for over a year, I don’t attempt suicide, in the past when I felt suicidal I don’t think it was for attention as I was genuinely debating whether to go through with it or not.

I don’t get angry like I used to, I don’t cut, I live as normal a life as possible and function well and I am part of the community like everyone else.  I wouldn’t have been able to do so without the therapy or treatment I received and all the hard work I have put in.

So I think this guy, the ‘Mental Health Worker’  shouldn’t be in this job, maybe its time for a career change.

BPD  CAN be treat and in time our episodes  become fewer and further apart.

I am the proof.  I am not that stereotype, though maybe I would have been if I hadn’t had treatment. I’m still ME.


Borderline and Narcicists: Fatal Attraction

I have been reading a lot into the attraction between borderlines and narcissists as I have noticed that I attract people with this type of disorder, it wasn’t until I looked it up that I realised how common this is … Continue reading

WOW, 200,000 Hits! Thank You!

Sometime earlier this week, this blog passed the 200,000 hits mark! WOW

I’d like to thank each and every one of you who read this blog for visiting, sharing and contributing your own thoughts. I really appreciate the contributions you all have made and I hope my posts have been useful to you in some way or another! I have no intentions of stopping writing yet! So watch this space.




Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say!


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There is one thing that really gets to me, I have stewed over it many times. It’s ‘Why can’t people keep their word?’ I’ve been one of those let down people many times, and fallen into the same trap time … Continue reading

42 Things All Noughties Teenagers Will Remember

Originally posted on Hannah Gale:


1. Smirnoff Ice, WKD and Archers. Tiny bottles of sugary alcohol that made you talk to boys, throw up and get told off by your parents. Goody.

2. Spending an entire week waiting for the next episode of The O.C. Fancying Seth Cohen, wanting to be Summer Roberts, and feeling awkwardly not sad when Marisa died. Oh.

3. Stripy highlights. Big blonde chunky strips through your over-straightened hair that made you look like the fourth member of Atomic Kitten, the somewhat cooler version of Kerry Katona.

4. Denim everything. Denim jackets, the perfect denim mini skirt, denim pedal pushers, denim handbags. Firmly believing Bewitched were on to something.

5. Teaming said denim mini skirt with (faux) UGG boots, dolly shoes or bright pink Converse and feeling like you’d finally nailed looking cool on non-school uniform day. Well done you, high five. All the boys will fancy you now.


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Make Time To Be A Friend. It Could Save Someone’s Life


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Dealing with my own personal problems and having to move away from my home town to create a better life for myself & my daughter means that I am well aware of how much I rely on my friends for support. I … Continue reading